I am 21M and I’ve spent my 4 years of life working alone. The job I’ve been doing is very isolated. Had no boss, no coworkers, nothing. I didn’t go out with friends at weekends or anything.. I’ve been making good money but I caught myself that I don’t wanna live like this the rest of my life. Now it’s awkward to speak to anyone. Even to my parents. I consider myself as introvert. I feel good being alone and don’t feel an urge to talk to someone but I notice that we humans can’t function normally if we don’t communicate. Once I’ve been isolated I didn’t take care of myself cause I didn’t need anything. Now I’ve decided that I want a family. I want to have friends. I wanna go out from time to time and do silly things. I want more colours in my life.
Despite making good money I’ve quit this job and already started making some changes. Finding a regular 9-5 job (cause the job I had required me to be online 24/7), working on my driving license, started taking care of my health, looking to take IT courses to find better job cause the experience I had is not applicable anywhere unfortunately..
Everything is going good but I really struggle with social skills. I am always thinking what I am going to say when I will approach any person. I find it difficult to keep up with the discussion. I struggle to find the right words to express myself and on and on.. also… lol… as I want a family I must find a wife. It starts with a girlfriend so that’s a really big challenge for me. I don’t even know any places here locally to take a girl I am 21M and I’ve spent my 4 years of life working alone. The job I’ve been doing is very isolated. Had no boss, no coworkers, nothing. I didn’t go out with friends at weekends or anything.. I’ve been making good money but I caught myself that I don’t wanna live like this the rest of my life. Now it’s awkward to speak to anyone. Even to my parents. I consider myself as introvert. I feel good being alone and don’t feel an urge to talk to someone but I notice that we humans can’t function normally if we don’t communicate. Once I’ve been isolated I didn’t take care of myself cause I didn’t need anything. Now I’ve decided that I want a family. I want to have friends. I wanna go out from time to time and do silly things. I want more colours in my life.
Despite making good money I’ve quit this job and already started making some changes. Finding a regular 9-5 job (cause the job I had required me to be online 24/7), working on my driving license, started taking care of my health, looking to take IT courses to find better job cause the experience I had is not applicable anywhere unfortunately..
Everything is going good but I really struggle with social skills. I am always thinking what I am going to say when I will approach any person. I find it difficult to keep up with the discussion. I struggle to find the right words to express myself and on and on..
Any kind of advice would help. Thanks! on a date.. anyways..
Any kind of advice would help. Thanks!
2 comments
I have also been this deep into the trenches of social anxiety before. The day i realized how to start to fix it i was in the notes app writing about it, i said “Maybe the reason anxiety exists is because the person is too kind or they think of themselves as less of the other person. I notice the more i become an asshole or think im better than others the easier it is to talk to them.” I also had anxiety around my parents at the time and i remember i thought they were “normal people” and i was just an “anxious person” in my brain, i didnt tell myself that i just felt like that.
The best way is practice, and being open to failure. That’s how to learn and get better. Just get ready to suck at it at first, try not to have unrealistic expectations, it’s hard though when socially starved. I’ll chat with you if you want to message, I have some time today.