I \[M20\] broke up with my \[F20\] ex almost two weeks ago.
I keep getting messages from our mutual friend that I “need to talk to her”
because she misses me. I think my ex believes we were soulmates and really
idealised me, so the break-up was quite hard on her. We stopped seeing each
other on (in the end) good terms but I really can’t be friends with her or date her anymore.
I don’t know what to do in this situation. If I try to talk to her it’s only going to get
worse for her and I’m quite positive that I can’t say anything that would make her feel
better. Besides, I don’t have much trust that she’s not gonna burst into anger or have
some uncontrolled reaction like she did when we were breaking up. I see no logic
in trying to talk to her since I would just have to repeat the reasons why I broke up,
or provide any extra information, none of which she could take well.
Is this good reasoning? Is there any point in talking your ex out of some miserable place
where they can’t move on?
Tl;dr I broke up with my ex, and she’s been having a hard time
getting over it, as I was informed by our mutual friend. The friend wants me to talk to her. We stopped seeing each other on good terms and I don’t want to be an asshole, but I don’t know what I could possibly say to make her feel better. I choose not to, but I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do.
5 comments
Do not, period. Nothing good is going to come of this.
>The friend wants me to talk to her.
Ugh, so much drama, sounds like school playground stuff!
You *could* ask your friend to explain to you exactly what they think you might actually achieve by talking to your ex, or you could just say no, and tell them that if they persist, it will put your friendship at risk.
Do not talk to her.
The friend is saying you need to talk to her because that’s what your ex is telling your friend. Your ex thinks you need to talk to her because she has a misguided hope she can convince you to get back together with her. Since you said that is not a possibility, the only thing talking to her would do is aggravate the situation.
Only talk to her if you plan to get back together (sounds like you don’t want to). She’ll heal in time, let it go.
Ask your friend to stop passing messages and giving you information about your ex. There’s no need to talk with her if you don’t want to.