Now I know this is dumb. Public validation isn’t the importance of this. My (f30) and bf (m49) have been together exclusively almost 4 years. He gets soooo weird about posting on SM. We have stories here and there. Anyways he put me in his story today while we were doing an activity this weekend but i didn’t feel it was the most flattering pic of myself. we took another cute pic the other day and I sent it to him from the weekend and said how I liked that one. Anyways it turned into this huge argument of how he doesn’t want to put it out in the world that we’re together (mind you in other arguments he says oh everyone knows we’re together) the picture it literally just us smiling. He says I’m ungrateful after the week we just had and how it’s never enough for me and that I’m pushy. Mind you the pic is not all lovey dovey. Anyways he flips it on me for wanting “public validation” but I’m just like it’s literally just a pic of me and my bf who everyone “knows we’re together” so it makes me feel dismissed or like he’s ashamed of me or something. I understand if we had just started dating but it’s literally almost 4 years in. Is this a red flag?
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Yes. Red flag for sure. My first thought is he doesn’t want wife/girlfriend(s) to know about you. Either way, he’s not considering you’re feelings and that’s not okay.
Yeah, he sounds like he’s being intentionally manipulative
It’s amazing how much my opinion changed as this post went on. Generally speaking, I’d say that social media is irrelevant, and it largely is.
But once he said (after four years) that he didn’t want to put it out in the world that you were together, it had the alarm bells ringing. Now again, I fundamentally believe that social media is for attention and is irrelevant. But the way he phrased that is concerning in that you’re being hidden.
That’s where it comes to you. Who knows you exist?