How should you communicate your decision to quit Alcohol?

14 comments

1. It’s nice to talk to her about it, but it’s ultimately your choice, and you don’t really NEED to involve her in your decision making for something like this imo.

2. I would recommend just being completely open with her and telling her the truth. It’s important for you to understand her frustration in not talking to her about it but she also needs to understand and support you in your decision to not drink anymore.

3. You don’t need permission, nor do you need to discuss it with anyone. It’s not like you are making a decision about having another kid or buying a house or moving. You are making this lifestyle choice that affects no one else but you. I’d not even said anything and ordered a pepsi or something. If anyone ask, just shrug it off. If they insist, ask them why they need that info and put them on the spot. You shouldn’t have to defend your reasons why, they should have to defend on why they need to know.

4. I’ve been off booze for several months now – for weight loss like yourself, but even though I’m near my goal I just feel better going without. I’ve got on several bar dates, and precisely 0 of my dates have had an issue with me drinking a diet coke. Only one even asked. I’ve been out with my friends to the bar too, and not one of them belittled my decision. They were actually happy that someone is volunteering to DD so we don’t have to uber lol.

   Your girlfriend needs to give her head a shake. Drinking alcohol while your dinner guests don’t doesn’t make you an alcoholic or anything. I think she’s just insecure about something deeper here.

5. Yes you need to put some boundaries to yourself that she has to respect, period. Otherwise she (and other people) will continue to stamp on them.

6. Not sure why she is making it about her… as the person you are dating, she should support you and not pressure you. This seems like a red flag to me.

7. It’s your body and you can choose what goes into it.

   At the same time, having the occasional drink is not going to affect your weight loss journey, at all.

8. Lol someone who insists you do something destructive to your mental and physical health (drink) is not someone who is good for you. I’m sorry, but it’s just not. You’re not telling her that she can’t drink just because you’re not. In my opinion, she is being unfair.

9. Your both on different paths 💝

10. I have a lot of experience with this as I’ve been sober for almost 3 years now. For me, it’s an easy think to communicate as it’s more or less a life or death situation. And if it’s not death, it’s a miserable fucking existence

    So for the most part I make it known prior to the first date but I try my best to let it come up organically. Ultimately if it’s an important thing for you, you will let her know. IME, the ones who can’t accept it, likely have a problem of their own

11. ……..really

12. Telling someone at a bar while they are drinking that you are quitting smacks of judgment and like you are asking her to join you.

    Have you discussed this with her when she is sober?

13. I think it’s ridiculous that she expects your decisions about your body to consider or involve her. You’re literally drinking poison and she’s upset that you decided to stop? Absurd. Someone who loves you, wants you to be your best self and support you. Sounds like she’s only thinking about herself, and perhaps not having a drinking buddy may be a dealbreaker for her.

14. Someone that pushes you to drink when you said you don’t want to is not someone you should hang out with