35F and worried I’ll never find the right guy. How do I get over these feelings?

27 comments

1. I don’t know how you can make yourself feel like you’ll meet the right person, but that’s not where I’d focus anyway. I’d recommend working on loving yourself, your freedom, and your independence. Best case scenario, you seem happy and content and that attracts people. Worse case, you have learned to love living independently. So, win win.

2. You can’t control your age. Will dating be harder? Maybe. Will it be impossible? Definitely not.
   All you can do is try. The harsh truth is that we only get so many chances and there are no guarantees. You can find mr. Right and then after 15 years of marriage find out he’s cheating on you with his secretary. My point is that the only thing you CAN do is keep on trying. So keep pursuing your happiness OP.

3. Don’t worry about it. There are millions of single guys out there. This is a non-issue if you’re willing to date someone around your own age.

4. Give it time! You’ve only been single for a few months

   Finding “the one” takes time

5. It takes time finding the one, find some hobbies explore and figure out what you want in life

6. I just met the most incredible, thoughtful and compassionate man at 40. You will meet yours ❤️

7. In my late 30s I find it easier to get dates, but the quality often isn’t there. Lots of people with issues in this age range. But people meet and form relationships at all stages of life, so it’s not impossible. It may be difficult to meet someone to start at family at your age though, if that is your goal.

8. Have expectations grounded in reality. You aren’t gunna get a 6’5” guy who makes 400k a year and travels the world

9. you are still young. my question would be do you think you are pretty and do you like who you are and where are you from that you think you won’t meet the right guy and what’s the right guy for you??

10. You are correct. You may not find a lifetime partner. However, that doesn’t mean you can’t live your best life. Finding hobbies or whatever that bring you joy. Sleeping in bed linens that you choose and enjoy.

    Once you’re happy and content you can’t lose. Someone may even be attracted to your outlook and you could serendipitously find the love of your life.

11. Quit trying to replace your ex based on your end point. Nobody can compete with that. Relationships build over time. Realize, you may meet a perfect person that just needs some tweaking over time. Just like your ex did.

12. I’ve met someone at almost 36 (I’m F too). It will come. Focus on feeling good for now!

13. Don’t stress, focus on you! This sucks now but hey, so far you have survived 100% of your emotions!

14. I [M] 23 feel the same, everyone around me have someone to spend time with, except me I too think I am getting old as I won’t find any to share my feelings with this lowers my confidence each passing day, I am exhausted I can’t find peace. Everyone is worried because of this useless culture, why single people can’t find peace.

15. Being single is awesome! Maybe consider if the messaging that makes you think being partnered is the only valid option could be flawed.

16. These thoughts can stand in your way and consciously or subconsciously make you do stuff that is not conducive of connecting with people. Which is why i think it’s better if you get some time to yourself and become okay with being with yourself (but not to the point where you don’t do your part in human interaction), then get back out there.

17. I was 35 when I started dating the love of my life. We had gone to school together and ran into each other when we both least expected it! It’s when you arent obsessed with finding someone that you will find them. We were married 3.5 years when he died in a car wreck. But that was literally the best years of my life. Just concentrate on you and the right person will show up. Good luck, and be patient ♥️

18. Ppl here will tell you otherwise bc theyre want to spread toxic positivity.

    But realistically, as a woman, youre getting to a point where it will be more difficult. But never impossible.
    Youre gonna have to change your standards tho, and that might actually be a good thing! But start looking at being a step mom, or get to be okay with fat guys and balding men.

    Youre golden days are gone, hard pill to swallow but its true. It will get harder and harder with every year that passes. For both, but especially for women.

19. Your very young. Your 35 years old you have plenty of time. Just remember to ask questions and find someone that shares your beliefs, morals and that you have chemistry with

20. Whenever I see a post like this I recommend they watch Watch [“How I hacked online dating | Amy Webb” on YouTube](https://youtu.be/d6wG_sAdP0U)

    Without spoiling too much or the good parts she was also getting terrible dates but by changing strategies and defining for herself what she was looking for she found someone who was great for her…

    Good luck OP and I hope you find someone great for you too.

21. I met the love of my life at 50. We’ve been together 19 years, and life is so juicy, fun, sexy and filled with so much joy. You need to be optimistic,
    ,put your best foot forward, show the world who you really are and I do believe love will come for you.

22. Don’t be too picky, we human beings are flawed pieces of shit, fairytale relationships don’t exist.

23. My advice..don’t try. Just be. And the right person will come. But keep some standards and expectations too.

24. You really can’t get over those feelings, that fear will always stay there if you aren’t honest with yourself. Don’t set your standards high, meaning make sure that those expectations/standards are achievable.

    Be honest with your intentions and expectations of the relationship. Tell your bf what you would like to achieve by dating them. Tell them that you would like to be married or not, make it clear of what you want. This will make sure you guys are on the same page and have the potential of growth.

    Honesty is key! Also, hold off on having sex with them until you actually get to know them. If the person is only interested in having sex, then they will blow you off. However, if they are genuinely interested they’ll stick around and would love to get to know you.

    Best of luck!

    Feel free to reach out if you have other concerns or questions.

25. Get married to the wrong person and then divorced. That’ll make you grateful to be single. Worked for me anyway.

26. take mushrooms honestly

27. Hey I’m a 39 year old man. Was with my ex for ten years , divorced at 35 and quickly got back out there. I definitely didn’t let my age stop me from meeting people. I’m now married again and planning to have a kid in the next couple years.