Have you felt attracted to another person whilst being in a serious committed relationship? How does one deal with it?

15 comments

1. > How does one deal with it?

   It’s called committment.

2. Of course. It’s not like I have an on/off switch.

   I deal with it by being an adult with impulse control.

3. Leave

4. Of course you feel attracted to people and then you just don’t do anything about it.

5. Yup. Refraining yourself from acting on impulses gets easier if you keep doing it. It’s like a muscle. Gotta work out your self-control.

6. When I was with my ex. I’d have these mini crushes. If I girl met talked to me or gave me any attention at all. I’d get a little crush on them. I’d never tell them or let it ruin my relationship but I’d think about them alot. Kinda fantasize about what it would be like to be with them. Not just sexually but dating them.

   It was a very unhealthy habit. And alot of it came from I wasn’t getting what I need/wanted in the relationship so I was craving that attention and validation outside of it. After that relationship ended I made alot of changes to myself. I had to kinda find all of my flaws and see what I could do to fix them.

7. I rarley feel attraction to people i don’t know

8. I just let the thoughts go out of my head as quickly as they came in.

9. Sure. You can’t make yourself *feel* unattracted to someone. What you *can* do is to consciously decide to *not* act on this feeling and stay loyal to your woman.

10. Of course. Everyone in a relationship has. I didn’t go blind when I got married.

    The worst part for me was when I was newly married and still relatively young and handsome. I traveled a bit for my work and found that there is something of a hook-up culture at some business hotels… and the ring on my finger was not much of a deterrent. Being good is hard enough without being offered a heaping helping of temptation when in a position to be able to get away with it. But, being a grown up who both loves my wife and respects commitments, I dealt with it by invoking my iron will. (I am lying. I got the f–k out of the danger zone (the hotel bar) just as fast as my little feet would carry me.)

11. Often. I deal with it by not acting on it. It’s not like I just make a move on every woman I find attractive anyway. Not enough time in the day for that, lol.

12. That part of me just switches off. I have someone, so it just goes away.

13. I’m polyamorous so as long as my partner/s are ok with it I see if they’re into me too.

14. You just practice some mental discipline. Think about it as little as possible (don’t sit around dwelling on it or fantasizing) and don’t act on it.

15. Well….yeah

    I like bad bitches, that’s my fuckin problem