I recently met this guy online in a video game me and him play all the time along with his bud he is 22 and im 16 turning 17 in March. he sounds his age nothing romantic going on at all just friends. I got a mic to talk to him and we had good times my parents heard him one time in voice chat because I didn’t connect my mic so it was loud they figured he was the guy I was talking to and I talk to his bud as well whom is the same age as him they later on got mad at me and told me it is weird for a 22 year old male to talk to a 16 year old girl so they took up my mic not allowing me to talk to him anymore and I had to explain it to him. Are they in the right? Or just overreacting I’m tired of them treating me like I’m 12 when I about too turn 17 soon 🙁
Edit: thank you for the feedback guys he is just my buddy to play games with we don’t really talk about personal stuff outside of video games but thank u
25 comments
It’s rough to say, with something like gaming especially just online I think it’s fine, I remember I played smash in high school and I would hang out with people from age 15 to like 28, I can see it getting weird fast, again it’s hard to say.
I’d say it depends. If you’re just playing games with him and he’s one of your online comrades I personally don’t think there’s anything wrong with it; I had multiple people of many age groups who played the same games as me. But if you’re talking about off-game chatting, like he’s trying to get to know you, I’d at least be wary and be very conscientious about what you share with him.
EDIT: I would like to add that if your parents want you to stop, you’re better off doing that. I know parents can be harsh and incredibly dense, but if you live in their house you abide by their rules (mostly).
Yes
Tbh it would be even worse if your parents weren’t concerned
It isn’t weird. You guys are just connecting on the premise of gaming and nothing outside of that so it’s fine. But, if he ever asks to meet up at restaurant or something along the lines of hanging out irl with just the two of you, then that’s when things become weird. That being said, It’s normal for your parents to be concerned about you hanging out with someone much older than you.
Your parents are right to be concerned. Whether there is anything weird or not depends on the people concerned but in general I would tend towards caution rather than not.
When I turned 20, I pretty much stopped gaming with anyone under 18 (with exception of story below lol). Nothing bad ever happened. I just noticed kids would get really comfortable with me in a way that felt kinda sus lol. And I felt like me being chill with them could open the door for a predator.
I feel like some age gaps (e.g. 17 and 22) could be fine for gaming if both parties have a really healthy feeling for boundaries. I’ll say, I think it’s weird if a 22 yo is going to a 17 yo for any type of emotional/personal support. And a 17 yo has to not need the validation from the 22 yo.
Funny story: the first time I joined an amoung us discord, I was 25 maybe and it was with a random lobby I had pretty much spent the whole day playing with. They were all really funny and we had good games. I join, and I hear there voices and then immediately ask their age. They’re like 13-15. And I’m like “ok I’m going to leave because I’m 25.” And this group of 8 teenagers just started going “nuuuuuuu pineapples nooooooooo” “it’s fine with me” “we can still be friends”. And I’m like “shhhjh stop stop listen precious children I have to go”.
If it wasn’t a strictly a gaming situation I’d say yeah, it’s weird. Gaming is a weird situation. I’m 60 but I love gaming and I treat everyone as equals no matter how old they are. Most people I’d be conversing with are like 1/3 my age. Hell, just being on reddit is a little weird. When I watch Twitch streamers I’m always conscious of the fact that I’m watching some KID play. It limits my interaction with them, which is a shame. I just like gaming. I’ve been a computer gamer for about 30 (?) years. Geez, I’d never thought of it in those terms before.
I’m an older guy. Gamed all my life. Started playing Valorant one day and was just having a good time. Soon realized how big the age gap was between me and the other players. However, I loved the game so I kept playing.
I found myself in a weird spot where people would invite me to play all the time. I was partied up as soon as I logged on. I had all these invites to discord servers. Mainly from girls. That’s where things just felt awkward for me. Not because of anything inappropriate but because I just didn’t want to be in a position where people started making assumptions or deal with kids having crushes on me.
I eventually stopped playing and focused on spending my time on real life obligations. I do still chat with some of the people I met on that game. To be honest it’s perfectly ok to have friends with such a big age gap as long as you maintain appropriate boundaries. But people will make assumptions. You can’t change that and, as an older dude, I do not want any of that smoke either.
It is not weird if it is just gaming. As a chess player, I maintain a lot of relationships with people younger than me, but only because WE are chess players. If it had to be anything outside of that, then r/suddenlysexoffender
I was exactly in your shoes when I was 16, made friends with some guys 20-22 years old through a video game. Six years later I’m still friends with some of them and made some great memories!! The fact that people think you can’t be friends or even have anything in common with people several years older or younger than you is a little mind boggling to me. I don’t think it’s weird but definitely stay safe and be aware if he tries anything funny/manipulative with you.
ETA: Btw, I think it’s normal for your parents to be concerned. Try not to let it get you down!
So I use to be in your position. 16 year old, talking to a guy in his younger 20s when I was playing GTA5 online religiously.
I’m 25 now, and we still chat. He’s a dear online pal at this point, and has always treated me with respect.
Your parents have a right to be concerned (in fact, it’d be weird if they weren’t), but as long as y’all are just talking about game stuff and not sharing much personal info, I think it’s fine.
I was 13 when I became online friends with an 18 year old. He moved to a city fairly close to mine a few years later, and we met up. I had just turned 17 and he was 22. We ended up dating and we’re still together, so that’s nice.
The point is that as long as you share the same intererests, there’s no reason why you can’t be friends. I’m 30 and have 18 year old friends online. Nbd. Games are fun to play with others, their age don’t matter.
You’ll notice how much variety is in the answers. The general consensus is that if they’re just chatting about the games it’s cool. If it becomes more than friendship then OP should cut it off.
Honestly, be cautious.
I’m a 30 year old guy. I know guys. I can tell you that if a guy is being friendly with a girl much younger than him, 90% of the time he doesn’t “just want to be friends”, if you know what I’m saying.
I’m not saying that’s what he wants. You might just be gaming buddies and turn out to be great friends with nothing weird ever happening. But your parents do have a legit reason to be concerned.
Tbh it should be fine if it’s purely platonic (though 16 is the legal age of consent in my country, most people accept it is morally wrong to date a 16yo if you’re over 18). If you were 18 and he 24 I wouldn’t think it weird if it got romantic but with the preceding friendship it might seem like he was grooming you, even if that wasn’t the case and romance developed naturally
As a kid I was in the same situation with lots of older people in gaming from both genders. I had a blast and formed some long term friendships from afar. But as a grown up I rarely play with kids, but that’s because very time I go online and it’s a kid I’m playing with they usually scream and cuss and I don’t feel like tolerating it. I guess if a younger kid will not do that I will be okay with communicating with them.
If its just game’s nah but if it gets to a point where you guys r trying to meet up then yeah be cautious
If nothing is weird, we should be able to play games with one another. Full stop.
I am a mother of a 16 year old and 14 year old the 14 year old boy is a gamer he talks and socializes with much older people in the gaming word and although I keep an eye out and know some of the adults he games with I allow it because I feel as though it’s non threatening. I think I would be this same way with my 16 year old girl unless more came about. She herself is not a gamer but she has a close friend that is and some her just gaming buds have turned in to more and they are alot older then her. So I think your parents are right to be concerned. But if your honest and don’t mind them montering I think its ok.
Nothing wrong with being online friends with any age of person. The point of online interactions is meeting a wider net of people. That said, there are three rules that should be followed with any online friendship:
1. Never give out any sensitive personal information (where you live or go to school, etc) to an online friend no matter their age.
2. Don’t consider meeting on online friend in person unless you have known them for a very long time, over a year at least.
3. If an online friend starts to pressure you to break the rules 1 and/or 2, break the contact immediately and block them on every platform.
You’re literally just gaming together, and doesn’t appear that weird convos or topics happen. It’s not weird. When I was In high school I played online with friends my age and older, and I’ve always been someone who gets along with people older than me. No harm in it, don’t make dude out to be some predator just because you’re a young lady. Gaming transcends all of that and I have 2 best friends of 10 years because of it today. We legit wouldn’t even be having this thread if you were a 16 year old dude. If nothing weird is happening and you’re not uncomfortable, I wouldn’t trip or make any assumptions.
The internet is the fucking twilight zone, I am 100% sure. When I was 12 years old I played fucking Modern Warfare 2 with guys in their mid and late 20s. When I was in my early 20s, I played League with a 12 year old. The fact that some people think this is weird is ridiculous.
The only weird thing would be if the guy was obviously flirting with you or whatever the fuck. If it’s just being friendly, playing game together, then who gives a fuck? Your parents being concerned is reasonable though.
No. Jesus Christ why do you guys have to sexualise everything. They play games. Woop.
If you’re JUST gaming and being friends? No, not weird. But if he so much as hits on you, yes weird.
When I was 16 I had much older friends spanning from 17 to 32. We all played d and d together online and it was very fun and wholesome. I still keep on touch with them. I’m 28 now.
Basically if it stays wholesome then it’s okay and not predatory but if theyre doing things like pressuring you or getting you to post pictures or flirting with you… that is where you and your parents should be concerned.
Does that make sense? You’re parents are just trying to protect you because they don’t know you’re friend. You could try introducing them to your friend and letting them watch you two game for a session to help them feel better? If they get to know him and he is genuinely being wholesome- then it’ll help them feel more comfortable with you hanging out.