So long story short.. I was notified that my girlfriend had some feelings for a guy she works with. I confronted her and told her that I’m not having any of that. She admitted to it and said it’s over.
Fast forward two weeks later.. I notice she has a snap streak with this same guy?! She said it was just normal snaps. I really don’t know how I should feel about this.
Any advice?
Edit: I’m 32M and she’s 27F. We’re going on three years together
6 comments
End it
Does she work at a job where communication outside of work is typical? Even so, snapchat wouldn’t be the optimal source for that.
You were the one who found out about her feelings for a guy at work and you were the one who had to confront her. Since then she’s continued to talk to him regularly. While there is no concrete evidence, at minimum you have lost trust here that she hasn’t tried to earn back. She said it was over, but clearly it is not.
I think you need to figure out if this is the right relationship for you. If it is, you will need to have a tough talk about boundaries. Set yours and stay firm on them.
If she’s using Snapchat to talk to a guy you know she has feelings for then she’s doing it so you won’t see what they’re talking about. You know what’s happening so it’s just a matter of if you want to stick with her despite her liking someone else.
You’re crazy for wanting to still date her, she is using snapchat so there isn’t a message history for you to see. Please dump her she is openly disrespecting your relationship
Explain to her, it’s obvious that you want to pursue this guy and you will not stand in her way. Let her go
The problem with drawing boundaries and asking someone to not step over it always comes when you sit back and do nothing when they do happily and willingly walk over it.
It just shows a level of disrespect for you and the relationship as a whole. It also shows you that when push comes to shove, she can and will call your bluff in the expectation that nothing of consequence will happen. So what happens in the future when it’s something more serious such as the raising of kids, planning of finances, etc? She will know by then that you are just piss and wind and you views can quite easily be discarded with no consequences.
Your only recourse in this situation is to now enforce your boundary and break up.
Otherwise, what is the point in having any boundaries at all?