I (21f) lied to my ex boyfriend (21m) and texted a guy telling him I was single ( to be honest I was planning to end the relationship by Christmas time and I don’t feel any strong feelings for him they only get so far but I do care a lot!)
We were 4 months together and one was a long distance relationship (call it a summer fling) .
He saw the text and he left which is understandable. Now one week later he tells me he wants to give it a second shot as long as I am feeling something….
He is a good guy that has helped me a lot but I don’t want to be a burden to him and I don’t feel like he deserves a liar like me… Opinion would be appreciated.
TL;DR! Even tho I lied my ex wants back together but my feelings aren’t that strong, should I try it?
11 comments
“I guess you’ll do” is not a strong foundation for a lasting relationship.
Nah, it sounds like you need to mature before dating any more. Do some self reflection and try to learn to be more empathetic.
You dont sound like you have any feelings for him. Tell him upfront. Dont lead him on
He seems more like a good friend rather than a partner. If we were to look at this through romantic lenses I’m going to be honest your relationship is weak.
The core foundations of a romantic relationship are trust, responsibility, transparency, and affection.
You can care about someone or even love someone just not necessarily in a romantic way. Love is so much more universal then just romance.
I’m going to be completely honest with you. It seems like you are playing games with his guy and aren’t ready to commit to a real relationship. It’s totally fine if you’re not ready for something serious yet but playing games with people’s feelings can be dangerous and unhealthy. Just be transparent and tell him how you really feel.
Youve led him on once already, you know yourself better than reddit, do you actually like this guy or just the attention he gives you in the moment? Because it seems like its the latter
You have to decide whether it’s worth breaking his and your heart a second time. You could try to talk about this some more with him and give it some time. Try not make any decisions until you are 100% certain and willing to accept the consequences.
Why would you want to get back together if you don’t have strong feelings for him and you were planning on breaking up anyway?
No no no, let him go and find someone great for him who has strong feelings. Don’t get with someone just because they are a good emotional crutch.
Just tell him the truth, you like him a as person, but your feelings aren’t strong. And that you’ll both find someone great
Thanks for everyone’s comments . I know for a fact that I am the wrong one in this situation and no I am not basing my decision on some comments ( I just wanted to hear a different opinion on the situation since I don’t have any close friends that know about the reason for my breakup and honestly they aren’t that close friends to begin with)
Why would you get back with him if you were planning to break up anyway?
Bringing back love is sometimes harder than unboiling a hard boiled egg!