I (22 F) am super insecure when it comes to sex. I was in a previous relationship 2 years ago that ruined how I feel about myself when it comes to sex. He would make fun of every little detail about me. So now when I am with a new partner I get paranoid about how my body looks, how I move, and even if I look pretty enough during sex. Is this something I’m really overthinking? Do guys really care about all of those details or are they too in the moment? Is there any advice that can be given to me about how to get over this?
11 comments
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Your ex sounds like an asshole. If anything, a normal guy will love how you look during sex, the way your body responds, your facial expressions, your moans – it’s honestly all good. You need to put this idiot out of mind and let yourself go. I’m sure any decent man will love that.
First let me say I’m sorry to hear how your ex gaslighted you like that doubtless a effort to control you, second very likely you are over thinking it speaking for myself in the moment I’m not going to be critiquing you would have already done that ….. I do understand how it gets into your head though but at some point it will dawn on you that you are just fine and absolutely nothing wrong with you
So glad you are no with that dickhead anymore and are free from him , I would say not to worry about this but I know that’s easier said than done when you are feeling a little insecure but I always found if someone is sexually attracted to you ,they love those intimate moments and don’t even think about what you are feeling insecure about.
Nothing is more beautiful than watching a woman orgasm. You look great during sex. End of discussion.
You’re obviously overthinking: you think so kuch that the thoughts themselves become an issue for you.
Talk about it with your current and or future partner, so they know comment will affect you more than they might expect. Over time your self esteem will probably grow. And meanwhile you could of course have entirely sensual sex in the dark.
Personally I prefer sex in the dark so I fan focus more on what I feel and on our breathing, but it it’s also amazing to receive compliments about my body and I hope you will get those too from your partner.
If someone saw you naked and is having sex with you, safe to assume that they find everything attractive. Focus on that
Guys dint really care, your ex was a shitbag. Find the guy that showers you endlessly with compliments. Thats the guy you want.
Nah, your feelings are perfectly valid and normal. You shared a personal, intimate moment with someone and he abused that by making fun if you. That’s not okay.
It’s not something that’s easy to overcome and some people are just awful, but any guy worth your time wi just love being with you and won’t care about anything you see as an imperfection. They’re just going to be happy to share some intimate time with you.
Walk away from him for good and feel good about showing your body to better people. I’m sure they love it a lot more than you think.
Ahww, this makes me feel bad… I know the struggle of worrying about these things, and it really takes you out of the moment.
Obviously, there will never be an answer that is 100% guaranteed. However, do guys really care?
For most, I’d say it’s a yes AND a no.
Yes, of course they want to look at their partner when they’re buzzing with ecstasy. I’m a chick, and even I love the way my partner looks in the moment. Most men and women feel the same, I think.
But do men care about how “bad” you look? Hell no. I make the ugliest faces during sex, I’m sure. The thing is: a “weird” face means you’re not thinking about looking good. People can look angry, sad, in pain, shocked; they’re so caught up in the moment, they’re not even thinking about the way they look anymore. Or, perhaps even hotter, they can’t control it. To see my partner so overwhelmed with pleasure, they can’t even control the muscles in their face… Sure, it might not be a cute look for picture day, but for sex? God, I choose that over a controlled, pretty face every day.
I’m not sure about men having issues with this, but I have never had a problem with what my girlfriends have looked like and I don’t think they’ve ever cared about what I look like during sex either.