We have been married together for 10 years and dated for 3 years prior to that. We have a pretty normal sex life once a week sometimes. We are both kinda vanilla in bed, missionary then doggy. I know she doesn’t like giving blowjobs it’s okay no big deal right. She noticed I was kinda frustrated as she was going to lay down for bed. She got under the covers and gave me this weird look like she was over it. Then she does this weird thing she taps me and points at her mouth. I know she wasn’t in the mood but was trying to be nice. For some reason this just made my dick go into my body. I’ve never been not turned on by her but this just made me uncomfortable. I turned to her and just nodded my head no. I felt like shit after like why would I do that. I feel like we are losing touch with each other. Sex is more like a task than something we both enjoy. When we do have sex it’s fine we both orgasm. Just leading up to it lately has been uncomfortable.
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do you both still love each other?
How many conversations have you had about this?
Do you guys discuss how you’re both feeling about your sex life consistently, do check-ins on satisfaction and brainstorm ways to improve your connection and eroticism with one another?
If not, starting that habit is going to be your best bet to remain sexually connected.
Do you guys talk about sex? About what you enjoy and don’t enjoy? Do you engage in foreplay or is it more a “let’s have sex” and then down to business?
It’s normal to want a partner to be enthusiastic about sex and it sounds like you didn’t feel that. That it wasn’t an offer because she was in that special mood where she enjoys a blowjob, but more her “doing her duty” maybe just to try and relieve stress.
I would suggest you talk about the situation. Ask her why she offered to give a blowjob when you know she doesn’t really enjoy it. Try and be curious and looking for her motivations. And make sure to let her know that you are looking to understand her and your own reaction.
I think you should have an open, honest conversation with each other about your sex life. Talk about what you both like, your fantasies, how often you want to have sex, etc.
It sounds like the fire has been put out and you need some newness in your life . Hope everything works in your favor
Have a conversation about it then start dating each other again. Just because you see each other every day and live together doesn’t mean you don’t have to make any effort anymore, because if you don’t you get bored and loose touch with each other. So take each other on dates, get to know each other again, surprise the other person with little gifts, give each other a massage or just cuddle, etc. Bring back the spark.