I always see sex used as a signal of status almost. Yesterday, I was playing a game with my freind.
I’ve made a few posts about how my “freinds” treat me already, so I need to clarify that when I use insults, it’s clearly harmless teasing. “Oh dude you suck at this game”, is basically what I said. Dude turns it into a philosophical question some how and says “you think this game even matters? I get laid, and you dont.” knowing I’m a virgin and just insulting me basically.
When I ever bring up how sex isn’t the meaning in life it will bring up another philosophical and biological query about how humans and animals in general are born to breed, and that by being an old virgin, I’ve failed my purpose and am therefore a failure.
I’ve been told this by tons of men in different situations. Which is why it amazes me so much cause it’s not just my one “freind” trying to grill me, it’s groups of men everywhere.
I was in jail one time, and we were playing a board game, risk. I’m pretty good with geography, and something about the map got brought up and I pointed out things about the region. Well one dude said “you don’t get laid though” they too knew I was a virgin, I live with them and it’s jail and if you reveal anything about yourself to anyone it spreads around. So anyway, I said literally “well sex isn’t everything.” And I shit you not the whole dorm started laughing at me and said “yes it is!”
This was jail so, I mean. They aren’t the best example of men out there, but I have other examples too, but this post is already getting rather long. I could write 10 pages of times men have told me that sex is the meaning of life and so on.
It just frustrates me cause these men do seem to obtain sex pretty easily. Women cheat on their husband’s with my freinds, they both make less money than me, still live at home while I have my own place, they haven’t graduated high school while I have a college education and am furthering it. They have no hobbies either besides smoking weed and playing video games. I personally have tons of hobbies, and I hate even bragging like this cause I’ll have commenters say things like “oh you think you’re better than people huh!? That’s the problem!” When in fact these people constantly talk about how theyre better than me, cause they get sex hence the analysis of the whole thing.
My coworkers do the same thing, constantly sexualizing my women coworkers. Personally I feel like if I sexualized women at all, I’d be charged with harassment or something. Everyone at work hates me. Nobody wants me around there and I have to just keep quiet and do my work and just be lonely hearing them spew out toxic shit all day.
My coworkers too, they make fun of how I look, they said I look like schmeagle or whatever from lord of the rings. Women at work don’t want to talk to me, cause when you hear everyone bullying and making fun of someone, you then avoid that person cause they’re “a loser”.
I also get this attribute to my name, it’s called the R word.
R word as in the ableist slur. It’s practically my nickname to all intents and purposes.
Idk if it’s the way I look or what, but everyone automatically begins calling me “slow”, or “he’s not all the way there”, they say this shit right in front of me. At work. At school. Wherever.
My family says those things to me too, constant jokes “his elevator doesn’t reach the top floor”, “the lights are on but nobody is home”.
Constant. Constantly I’m referred to in this absolutely dehumanizing way. It’s despicable. They don’t even know me, they’ve never even given me a chance and that’s how they always talk about me.
Who would want to date an R word? Who would want to have sex with an R word? Nobody.
Every job I’ve ever had everyone gives me that label. The R word. I hate that word. Every school I’ve ever went to. It doesn’t matter.
Even when I observe things or point stuff out I get ignored. Then they’ll ask one of the engineers (at work) or the teacher (at school) about what i said and they’ll tell them I was right, and they forget I even mentioned it and claimed they figured it out by their own intuition.
Nobody ever asks me how my weekend was, how my holidays were.
I can’t even celebrate holidays cause I have no real freinds or family. So I just am alone on holidays.
I even had a woman at work come up to me and say “excuse me, but do you have autism?” seriously.
Seriously.
I just don’t know what to do really.
I’ll never be allowed to have relationships. I was told the closest ill get to a relationship is if I pay an escort for the “gf experience”. What a joke.
3 comments
These aren’t the best kinds of people OP. Keep being you and deflect the rude remarks. I’m in the same situation as you but I don’t get it this bad. All the best mate
They clearly are too sensitive đź’€ can’t deal with people like that. All these people sound horrible
Oooof. Some of what they’re doing isn’t reasonable. Some of it is however.
If you’re starting casual teasing, expect back some casual teasing. That’s on you, and you need to own it at home, and not do it at work.
It does sounds like you need to know when to apologize and change your habits.
If someone questions your good judgment, that usually means you said (or did) something completely out of line, and didn’t heed the first hint to stop and apologize. If you start to take the hint and apologize when you’ve made a mistake, you show some mutual respect to yourself and to them, and they are likely to stop making excuses for you. Things can get better.
As far as the sex talk goes, you’re hearing the same things people have been saying since the pyramids were rising. It’s silly, and it’s not really about you or them.
Last, you definitely don’t have to tell coworkers what kind of neuro spicyness you have going. Obviously, it’d be good for you to know personally. Thinking differently doesn’t make you better or worse, but it does affect who you will click best with, and where you may be able to look for peers, interesting people and friends.