this stupid dance we have to do. bitch what the fuck is a talking stage??
i met this guy on an app, and we’ve been talking to each other for like 3 weeks. he says the only reason he doesn’t wanna meet up is because he’s been sick (which is good!!) but he’s been out a little here and there so like. is he enjoying making me look stupid? am i making a mountain out of a mole hill??
idk. i’m 27 and i feel like i’m too old for this shit. tell me you like me or stop wasting my time
EDIT: thank you guys for knocking some sense into me!!!! in the morning i will let him know that i’m not going to be doing this texting nonsense any longer, and when he’s ready he can reach out and we’ll go out if it still feels right!
UPDATE: we are both sick now and planned a video date for tomorrow 🙂 please stop replying to this post i’ve gotten sufficient advice
22 comments
I have a strict rule, which I used to write clearly in my bio back when I was on a dating app. I will chat / talk for only 1 day, during which I will decide if the person is worth meeting F2F or not. If yes, I will let the guy know. If he feels the same, we can meet. If not, I won’t waste my time. I am not going to spend my life on texts and calls. People find me weird/rude/arrogant for it. But I really don’t care. This is a waste of my time.
Forget online dating. It’s not even real and the guys on there are weirdos. Just a waste of time and energy
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I would say maybe give him a little more time. I’ve been sick for like two weeks and I think it’ll be at least another week until I feel all the way better. Even though I can go to the store or make it through a day of work…the thought of going on a date or meeting someone new sounds dreadful in my current state. You want to look and feel good when meeting someone for the first time. I actually went on a few dates with a guy I kinda like before I got sick and haven’t seen him in a few weeks because I don’t want him to see me when I feel like this. Maybe after next week, haha. He may be telling the truth and needs a little time. Tell him you are interested in meeting when he is feeling better and he should contact you when he’s ready. Then, walk away and don’t invest any more time in it. Move on. If he’s interested, he’ll reach out when he’s feeling better.
Communicate, lock in a date for y’all to meet. If he doesn’t want to then it is what it is & keep it pushin
There are a LOT of fakes and flakes on dating apps. People get entertainment out of wasting other peoples time. I know it sucks and those people are literal trash but there’s not much you can do about it except try to get better at spotting the fake accounts
Get use to it. Dating apps is scraping the bottom of the barrel.
So you’ve not met up with him before?
He could be highly anxious person. Or he could actually be sick.
Don’t give up on dating though because of a bad experience. These are life lessons. You’ll grow and learn.
Seems like you’re putting a lot of energy into him. Take your time and get to know people. Listen to when you feel uncomfortable and dislike something. Ask yourself where your discomfort is coming from and whether it’s a sign you need to set a boundary. Here, it seems like you want to meet with someone soon after you match with them, which is fine. Don’t pour your energy into texting for weeks without a plan (that’s followed through) to meet because it’s not something you like to do.
Stop texting people for weeks on end. This seems to be a constant issue for people here. Let me reiterate:
**Stop texting dates for weeks on end and just meet them**
Talk to people who actively make an effort to meet you. They may be sick, which is fine, but don’t put all your eggs into one basket.
Talk to some who can meet you today – the other person’s circumstances doesn’t mean you need to put your life on hold.
What do you mean he’s been out? Like hanging out with other people?
I (23m) have a rule generally, where I’ll spend an average of two-three days talking to a guy…if im/he isn’t interested in meeting after that time period, i usually see no reason to go further because i dont want to waste either of our time
hell, I don’t want to text at all on the app. If I swipe on you, which I do on everyone, I want to meet up. It’s just hard to get a match and then even harder to get a response.
“i met this guy on an app, and we’ve been talking to each other for like 3 weeks. he says the only reason he doesn’t wanna meet up is because he’s been sick…”
People who behave as if they are in an *exclusive relationship* when one does *not* exist are usually hurt the most when things don’t work out, they’re rejected, or *ghosted*.
You should avoid becoming *emotionally invested* in people you’ve never met in person.
Ideally you are engaging with and dating multiple people when you are *not* in a relationship.
If you were looking for a job, you wouldn’t stop sending out your resume just because you had a great phone interview with one company!
Until an offer has been made and accepted both the company and the candidate are within their rights to interview with others. It should go without saying if you meet anyone who *maintains an active online dating profile* odds are *they are keeping their options open* and so should you!
Most people you meet don’t become dates, most dates don’t become relationships, and most relationships don’t lead to marriage. As one adage goes: “Many are called but few are chosen.”
“i hate dating”
It’s hard to succeed at anything you HATE doing!
Maybe it’s time for you to take a break from trying to “find the one” and just focus on *having fun*, enjoying life, and expanding your network of single friends to go out and socialize with.
Your relationship status shouldn’t dictate whether you are happy or not.
There are some people in relationships and marriages who are miserable!
People who seem to be *having fun and enjoying life* tend to attract others into their orbit.
***”The grass is always greener on the side you water.”*** – Neil Barringham
***”Dating is primarily a numbers game…. People usually go through a lot of people to find good relationships. That’s just the way it is.”*** – Henry Cloud
Best wishes!
dating just keeps getting harder & harder by the day i’m tiredðŸ˜
This is why you meet up right away. Stop wasting time texting strangers.
I hate dating… I like meeting new people but when it’s under the umbrella of dating it’s automatically worse….
Personally have 0 interest in texting with a stranger for weeks. If we don’t make plans to meet within a week, I’m outta there. Do not get invested in internet strangers.
I like to meet irl as soon as possible. Sometimes I even meet with people the same day I match with them. I understand you have to be careful but I always meet in a public place at first. If the person truly likes you then they’ll also want to meet as soon as possible.
Stop entertaining talking stages. If he doesn’t ask you out within a few days of talking you should just stop chatting until he does, or move on.
Obviously if he’s sick that’s a diff story but still
I don’t understand your struggles, you have a great attitude.
BTW, capitalization. Get some.
I agree with your opinion on this situation. I hate beating around the bush I try and go from meeting online to sms to phone call to days asap