I don’t know if I’m missing something. Do guys do this to girls they really care about, as a protective thing?
I have been dating a guy for about 3 months and we are exclusive and very serious about eachother. I met his family on thanksgiving, and he’s already telling me about meeting the other side come Christmas. My birthday is inbetween and he’s asked me what I’d like to do so he can spend the day with me, then have dinner etc.
When we see eachother is very cute and sweet. We get eachother and laugh so much, he tries to sneak in hugs or holding my hand, and when we text it’s always loving but very much just updates about our day mostly. It’s never boring, but there are moments I say I wish he was with me and he says he does too.
Now what gets me is that I live pretty close to him and I live alone. He helped me move into my apartment a few weeks ago because he offered several times and I thought it would be a nice way to bond. And after I said “what are you going to do?” And he implied he wanted to stay hanging out so we went to eat somewhere. But I don’t understand why he doesn’t try to see me more or come over more.
I asked him last night “what are your plans for tomorrow?” And he said “my priority is the gym right now and work after!” Which is fine, because me too, but knowing I live so close to him and him never being persistent on seeing me is confusing. The other day he said “maybe I can come over to sleep and we wake up and have a whole day together!” And I said I’d love that. But he knows he can and we still haven’t.
In a way I am thinking maybe this is healthy? Maybe being independent people is a good thing and I just have a clingy attachment style. When I we’re in person, he won’t stop looking at me, smiling, trying to play around with my hands or hug me (at work) but then it’s gone once we leave. When we are actually together, it’s like he’s my boyfriend, and we are very lovey dovey and happy. It makes me wonder if he’s just ok with not seeing me all the time because he’s secure in what we have? I don’t understand
4 comments
I dont think it’s that he doesn’t want to see you or anything like that. I had a similar situation with my ex. I never really initiated hanging out or anything only because she would do it for me. It was to the point that I was hanging with her every day, and I loved it. Little did I know, it was bothering her that I wasn’t trying to initiate hanging out with her. She never said anything about it for the several months that we dated until she broke up with me 2 days later. I never knew that it was an issue. In my mind, I just assumed we would be hanging out whenever we were both free, since thats what we had always been doing. I would ask to do things with her while we were already hanging out, and we would do them, but it was never the initial interaction. If you want advice here it is: Tell him what’s on your mind and how he’s making you feel. Give him the chance to fix what he’s been doing.
Communicate. Ask to have a conversation about something that’s been on your mind. How often do you see him?
Is he married? Maybe you are only a work relationship since you only hang out at work. Have you only hugged? No kissing or sex? He might be just a friend.
He seems like he’s very into you, just be direct and ask. You guys need to be able to communicate feelings/concerns if you want this relationship to go further.