I (F21) feel like I have way more libido than the guy (M31) I am dating ://
The sex we have is amazing but I would love to have that everyday if I could ! Especially as we typically see each other for a week straight every month or so (LDR sadly)
I am starting to ask myself some annoying questions like
Am I not attractive enough ?
Am I just too young ?
Is it just a « phase » ? (As we only have been dating for less than a year, and I noticed the difference in sex drive quite recently)
What to do with my frustration ?
How do I handle rejection ?
How do I communicate on this without him feeling like he is being criticised ?
5 comments
Bro you are 21, he is 31. There are exceptions but sex drives just get less as you age for the vast majority of people, especially from rutting pubescent years to thirties
I just posted a post as well, being in a similar situation as you right now with my gf.
I found it very hard to start a conversation about it mainly because my gf finds it hard to talk about it, but I just went ahead and did it.
You know him the best and whether or not he would be open to the conversation. At some point, just plain asking in a confident, harmless way is the best way to go imo, even though I didn’t do that with my girlfriend… Giving advice is easier than following them yourself haha
Check out r/HLCommunity. There are some really good people in there, and we are all in your spot to one degree or another.
The good news is you’re young and not married yet. The libido match is a critical factor in a successful relationship. The low libido partner tends to go down overtime, while the high libido partner does not. so if you start out low, it’s only gonna get worse.
I’m 65 and I have had this problem all my life. Fortunately, my wife and I were on nearly the same level until about six months ago when her libido crashed. She is working with her physicians on replacing several drugs that are almost certainly at fault. But even though we have a likely cause identified, it’s still a very difficult problem.
Yesterday I finally had a talk with her about how I am unwilling to go without sex the rest of my life, but I’m also completely distressed at the thought of leaving her. And the only solution I could think of if she can’t get this crash worked out is for me to have sex with someone else. I figured that would be a non-starter, but amazingly, she is on board so far. That gives me a great sense of relief that there need not be a divorce in our future after nearly 40 years together. Neither of us want that even remotely, but a big libido mismatch is a serious enough problem to cause that.
Anyway, you are very young and there are a lot of high libido men out there who would love to be your partner. But you need to be very particular about that. And you need to live with them for at least a couple of years to know that it’s real, and not diminishing.
I wish you the best of luck. Having a high libido can be a curse unless you find the right partner.
Let me put it to you this way: my inclination didn’t change from age 20 to age 30, but my *ability* had diminished a bit. Even at 45 I can still do it thrice a day, but it’s better for both of us if I limit myself to once a day. Nevertheless, if once a day wasn’t enough for her, there are things I can do for her that don’t involve my penis. Your guy might need to expand his horizons a little and figure out how to please you without his penis.
I had a similar situation and found that my gf was having some health issues. Trust me, I know how frustrating it can be but try not to jump to the conclusion that there is something wrong with you or him.