Hey y’all
Using a throwaway as my other half would be mortified if anyone we knew had a clue about this.
I (29f) joked for years about doing anal play on my partner (31m) but he always said he had no interest and thought “only gay people are into bum stuff”. So fine , I got over it . For context we are together for 8 years and are both very comfortable with each other.
So I told him multiple times I had loads of straight friends in the past who enjoyed receiving anal stimulation from their partners and that it was a very normal thing, just not openly discussed because of the taboo around it.
I have never done this with any previous partners myself but I have a keen interest in trying it as I think it could be very enjoyable for him.
We recently talked about it again and he seems more open to the idea about it and says he is willing to try . I think he talked to some guys in work who sang their praises about it .
So my question is how do I go about introducing this? Is it something we have to have a direct plan for or is it an in the moment kind of thing?
Do I use my fingers or do I invest in some toys?
Do I start with my mouth and then move to fingers/toys?
So many questions!
Any feedback much appreciated as I’m excited to try it out!
6 comments
He’s very lucky you will do it. I wish my wife would try it on me! I’d start with your tongue or a finger for sure
Start slow, some grazing with a finger, a little pressure on the stink wrinkle…see if he likes it. Next time (if there is a next time) do the same and ask if he wants to go further. If so, lube up a finger and go for 1 knuckle…take the time to get him to relax and enjoy it.
r/ProstatePlay has everything you need
Amazing for you that you are willimg to try it, lucky him also 🙂 my fav fantasy is to get gf who is willimg to peg me more than just once 🙂
Anyway i am not experienced with couple anal play but i have some experience with anal play.
Most important thing is to start slow!! Reccomend to do it after bowl movement in next few hours! I am doning an enema on myself but thats not for begginers.
Use gloves. Make him relax, u know how to do that better than me since you know him! Use lube! Without that trust me it will be your 1st and last time doing anal stuff on him unless he likes pain. Use lube! Massage part around his opening, communicate with him! And go slowly and try to insert it inside! Slowly since its his 1st time and muscles needs to get ajdust! Soo yea slowly and carefully, add lube if nedded. Dont rush, anal stuff takes some time. And then find what he likes the best. Guys we have p spot inside us, its shape of an wallnut and massaging that fells amazing though dont try to do it 1st time! That should be it for 1st time. Repeate that if he likes some other day and slowly advance on 2nd finger! Again slowly and carefully, lube is your ally in this!
After that its up your and his limits and imagination. Just go slow and slowly increase diameter and lenght! Dont assume that since he can take 2 fingers without problems that he is ready for 5cm diameter dildo shoved up his ass! Nonono, slowly! Its kind if a rule that to 3cm diameter is not long way of training but after that its longer way. Me for examlle i am doing anal stuff for like 5 years regurally on myself. And i need like 2 years of pratice to accomodate 4,5cm diameter dildo and another half year for 5cm one! Its quite large thouugh! And only now i am considering maybe size up to 5,5cm diameter, max to 5,7cm but probably not gonna do that at all since even 5cm is still not like walk in park kind of deal.
Soo yea. If he like it options are endless, its just your and his whishes and everything. Me for example my favourite whish is to get gf who is willimg to peg me (wear strapon dildo and put it in my ass and penetrates me). If my future girlfriend/wife accepts that i am in heaven 🙂 but there are also other options like prostate massage, fisting, anal butt plugs, role reverse, double ended dildo, etc. Like i said if he starts to likimg that kind of play options are endless 🙂 soo again, slow, lube, be careful and maybe he will let you do that more than once! Just remember, male liking anal stuff does not make him gay at all!
If you’re looking to play with his ass you need to have him douche and shower ! Straight men rarely douche their ass because they rarely use it. You would be so upset and disgusted if you stuck your tongue in an unwashed asshole. You can buy things like enemas to clean out, if you wanted to use toys on him he would have to get in there and clean out .. if u wanted him to play with yours same goes for you to clean out. Anal sex unfortunately isn’t something you can have spontaneously . There’s a lot of work and planning that goes behind it and it really sucks because sex is sex and shouldn’t come with complications. I as a gay man have seen it all . You can douche for an hour and still have an accident during anal play.. just don’t try it if you’re having problems with your bowels or bubble guts. Sometimes you literally have to stick your fingers all the way in there to make sure you didn’t leave anything behind .
1. Proper Prior Preparation Prevents Poop. [https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/](https://howtocleanyourass.wordpress.com/) Shit still happens, so remain flexible in your planning.
2. Lubrication is your best friend. Coconut oil is a good “all around” lube. Silicone Lube works well. Both of these last a long time. Coconut oil is good for other stuff since it doesn’t taste bad. Water based lubes might need to be reapplied.
3. Start small, work your way up.
4. Different people react to different shaped toys differently. Some people find that blunter (but still rounded) toys work well. Others prefer a longer taper.
5. The bend in the colon happens at different places for everyone, and for some people it’s a HARD STOP.
6. Fingers work well. Clip your nails.
7. Fingers for penetration. Mouth for external stimulation, BUT he is much more likely to get squicked out by your mouth down there, and that will raise the whole issue of kissing afterwards.
8. /r/straightpegging if you want to go down that road. Also /r/pegging-unkinked