For some reason it’s the impression people form about me all the time and I’m tired of it. I heard it from both girls and guys. I heard it from people who were close to me or barely knew me. From people who hated me as well. It also surprise me how can people form this impression about me in particular this quickly?
I’d do anything to be told I sound like a strong person with a strong personality than being described as ‘way too kind’. I had this criticism in uni by a girl who didn’t like me for some reason, she said I sounded too kind and not confrontational at all, she described it as even if someone did me wrong I wouldn’t defend myself, and another girl who was nice to me but she was always amazed how ‘kind’ I am to the point I started to hate her. Because whatever I do and say she looked at me as if I’m a pet who can’t harm a fly. Even this guy who has a crush on me, he asked for my number after we met for less than an hour and I did share. And you know what he said about me? Yes again “I feel like you’re very kind hearted and you can’t be other than that even if you tried “. He didn’t have bad intentions when he said that but I hated it. I’m almost 30 and still feel like I didn’t achieve any character development.
Can someone please suggest me a book or videos or an advice or something to do to give a different impression? I don’t want to be a bad person or ever hurt anyone but this kind and weak picture I’m giving is pretty annoying to me. Btw I can’t afford therapy for now.
3 comments
I completely disagree with you. To be kind is one of the greatest things we can be as people. I strive for it everyday and it does not come easy. Were I the envious type, I would envy you.
If you’re as much of a gentle soul as you think and others say, embrace it. It’s a gift. There is great strength in gentleness and kindness.
Why do you resent this and these people so much? Why choose to look at this core part of yourself with sourness?
Being an asshole/dismissive and cold is what weak willed people do. Remember, this attitude is a facade to protect against feelings of insecurity, rejection and fear of being judged by others. This is what all miserable people have in common.
Being gentle and kind and respectful is true strength of character. Don’t ever try to be someone you’re not. People who put on masks are just sleep walking through life. Don’t be like that. Be you, always.
Is it because you think they say “you’re kind” as a code for “pushover”? Because you can be kind, and be described as such, and still stand up for yourself.