My biggest fear ever is the fear of rejection, The fear of failure. So much so that, it is debilitating for me. I accept defeat before even trying.
I am so afraid of being rejected that I would simply avoid asking. I am aware of the simple adage that goes like ” The answer is always no, if you dont ask”. But I am so scared of hearing that No, that I will assume that I am not enough or that I am inconveniencing people by asking. I assume that I am not worthy so why even make the effort. The things has held me back from applying to jobs, asking people out, taking chances or reaching out to friends to ask them to hang out.
I am sure I can handle those rejection or can take that No gracefully but the thought of being vulnerable to someone to ask for help or favour, or make someone know that I want something from them, it feels like giving them too much power over me. I am 26 years old and this has led to so many lost opportunity for me. I feel like I am confident, I feel like i have skills and talent, but the idea of asking someone a favor or help seems too overwhelming for me. I want to learn how to get out of my head.
I feel like I am generally nice and kind to people who come to me for any help or favor, I mostly reply positively and kindly. What if I am not treated with same kindness?
3 comments
I really relate to this, as it’s something I’ve had to work on myself.
The reality is that you’ll be fine. Sure, you may be bummed for a while if you don’t get the job you want, or you ask someone out and they decline, but ultimately you will always bounce back.
Making yourself vulnerable is a skill that gets easier the more you do it. The good news is, right now is the hardest it will ever be, so whatever you do from here to practice this skill will make it easier on you.
Getting over this fear of vulnerability takes time and a LOT of practice. It never goes away completely, but it DOES get better.
It’s worth it too. Being able to address this has led to me landing a job, finding a supportive partner, and a close group of friends. I know you can do it too. You just need to put in the work.
You have nowhere to go but UP.
I’m not one to give advice since I suck at it, but I can sort of relate to you. I’m also 26 and afraid of rejection, especially romantic rejection. I was made fun of or seen as creepy by attractive girls in both high school and college, and I think that has definitely had a negative impact on my belief system. I’ve felt like most women are just out of my league and that’s prevented me from taking opportunities and it’s taken a toll on my confidence.
I hope you can seek out good therapy to help you reframe your mindset and go for those opportunities whatever they might be.