This makes my laugh but at the same time makes me sad for one reason. My dad(56M) wont come over.
My parents live in CA and I live in AL. I bought a home and I don’t buy furniture or decorate unless I need it. To say the least my home is clean cut. On the other hand my mom has every single room decorated as much as she can. I grew up with this, I was never allowed to move things around, touch things, run around, or have the room to lay on the floor if I felt like it.
Since I’ve moved here my dad, who I’m very close with, has been asking me if he can come visit. I always say yes but only if my mom doesn’t come which then stops him from coming. They’re still married. My mom is very critical and will criticize every inch of my house. I refuse to have that energy in my safe place that makes me happy. I visit them frequently so that’s not a problem but I would love to share my home with my dad.
TL;DR: I won’t invite my mom over because she criticizes everything which is stopping my dad from visiting me. I refuse to have my moms negative input inside my safe place.
4 comments
So what is mom’s reaction knowing she’s not invited to your home? Imagine she’s asked you why she isn’t included.
Hopefully you have told her you’re not open to hearing any critiques or negative comments and you both just need to appreciate that you have different styles of living in comfort with no need to judge each other.
I guess until she understands this, then dad is not going to visit without her so looks like neither will be coming by.
I mean we all make choices in life.
I agree with the clean cut house.
You choose not to have your mom over because shes naggy.
By extension that blocks your dad.
So you made your choice.
We all have the power to choose
But not the power over what options are available to us
By all means, do not let your mother in your safe space until or unless you are ready
Though I’ll add, for me, there is a joy to be found when you reach the point you can invite them in and laugh at their criticism because their opinions about your life can’t hurt you anymore.
Enjoy your space!! Make snow angels on the floor with all your freedom!!
There’s nothing to be done here. You want him to come over, he won’t come without your mom, your mom isn’t welcome because of how she behaves, and your mom doesn’t care to change her behavior. So he’s not coming over. Unless/until he decides he doesn’t want your mom to be the reason he doesn’t get to spend more time with you.