I’m learning how to be more assertive in my own wants and needs, and maybe it’s the Christmas magic in the air. I’m feeling hopeful? Or delusional, and need some advice.
Backstory: We matched on Tinder over a year ago, I gave her my number and we didn’t speak for a year. We had our own separate flings, but she said she always kicked herself for not texting me, wondering “what if that would have made me happy?” We rematched on Bumble a whole year later (I didn’t remember her), went on three amazing dates and really clicked well, but with me working part-time and going to law school part-time, as well as her being a full-time grad student, working when she’s not in class or studying, and a high-up member of Greek life, all within this semester, we realized we weren’t going to have the time we wanted to give each other in a relationship during the fall. I was also still reeling from my last breakup, which I wasn’t aware of, but we agreed to remain in touch and try to grab coffee when we were in our areas.
We try to remain in contact, but tbh, I definitely do more of the reaching out and texting. We’ve tried to meet three separate times – once was stopped by a big incident in her Greek life that she had to take care of (and miss an event she really loves that I ended up competing at), once was during midterms and the last time she was just plain old sick. She was a great texted when school was out of session, but then it would take days for her to respond (hence the split). I want to be respectful of the boundaries of her making time for school and her friends and what’ll make her happy, but if this is on postpone for good, I need to know. However, she is also extremely friendly when I text, we try to carry conversation for a bit, and then it usually dies naturally. She also consistently likes my social media posts, which I assume one wouldn’t do if they were no longer interested.
As for the ex thing, I took the past two months off dating, really delved into therapy and the work I needed to do to gain respect for myself and come to terms with the situation. It sucks, but I feel so much more myself than I have in years. I really missed this version of me that I am so happy to have back.
There’s a huge winter market coming up these next few weekends, but I’d really like to go this weekend before my finals begin. None of my friends want to go, I really do and I got thinking of her cause this was a type of event we both expressed a lot of interest in. I was debating asking to see if she wanted to go, maybe this weekend or the next. I feel hopeful, it could be fun, and it could also help solidify where we stand with each other. Also, I need to grab some holiday presents, lol. I just know we agreed on coffee and don’t want to overstep a boundary.
In terms of when we last talked, the sick thing was over two weeks ago. I did wish her good health a few days later, to which she responded and asked about my classes, then Thanksgiving hit. We were both not texting.
Advice?
1 comment
I would ask her out ASAP life is short take advantage of it.