My bf gets really playful and he is a total dork. But lately I’ve been feeling as if he goes out of line, like he would randomly lick my face or my mouth, cover my entire nose or mouth with his, or when we are playfighting he would pin me down and drip his spit on me.
I get that we do the same during sex, but outside of it, it really grosses me out. Today, I snapped at him when I was trying to sleep and he just fully licked my face. He’s upset and not talking to me. It’s just gross. Should I be more open minded about this?
8 comments
No, I agree with you, that is disgusting
No… You should not be more open minded about it. You need to be very clear with him. “Stop doing these things. I don’t find it cute/funny/quirky/etc.”
More open minded? No. More communicative? Yes.
It’s common to enjoy things when aroused that you wouldn’t otherwise – but if you haven’t told him that those things gross you out outside of a sexual context how can you expect him to know it? You should apologize for snapping at him and for expecting him to be a mind reader.
You get to decide who touches you and how. Sounds like it bothered you and you put up with it until you just couldn’t. Maybe next time, talk to him up front before you “snap.”
FWIW, his “playfighting” and the silent treatment you’re getting now both sound like he’s controlling and manipulative.
Tell him that during sex, it turns you on and everything but when it comes to everyday life, wiping off his spit isnt hot to you. He needs to understand that. For example, some people are into licking toes and they get turned on but it wouldnt be hot if they’re just chilling and they start licking toes knowing the other person only likes it during sex. Another example, i like being slapped and choked during sex but dont want that in everyday life and my bf knows that so he doesnt do that. Your bf needs to understand the whole consent part of it
To play devil’s advocate, my bf and i like to ankoy eachother by either one of us licking or “poking” eachothers faces with our tounges just to be annoying /playful but if its really bothering you, tell him seriously and if he doesnt understand, he doesnt respect your boundaries
i always have strong urges to lick my partners face, infact i just want to roll them into a ball & suck their whole body in my mouth. however i don’t do this if they don’t want me to bc i’m not (usually) an asshole.
That’s just disgusting – and would assume it’s because he is immature. Tell him that’s not respectful and you don’t like it
Clear boundaries. Tell him straight up that you don’t like it outside of sex.