Approach anxiety is really a horrible thing.
I stood in the bus back from work and a beautiful girl went into the bus and she stood near me. I was thinking “ok maybe she feels like standing, like I am”, but she slowly got closer to few inches from me, we were so close our bodies touched each other every move the bus did. By the way the bus was freaking empty, it was only the two of us.
I could swear she glimpsed at me every few seconds, I was searching for “approach blocks” so I look at the fingers and there was no ring.
Before I knew it, she dropped of the bus and went on her way. I thought at the last second to follow her but my legs were stuck in place. This fear makes no sense.
I couldn’t do it and It fucking sucks. Now I will never see her again.
I can’t understand this fear. How you guys manage to approach?
2 comments
You have one of two options.
One is to develop a plan to slowly expose yourself to experiences just outside of your comfort zone but not too far off where you go i to pass if mode. These could be a series of things like: making eye contact with 10 women a day for the next 3 days. Then saying hi to 5 women a day for the next 3 days. Then forcing yourself to start a small talk conversation about anything with at least 3 women a day for a week.
The culmination of this might be forcing yourself to approach a girl and give her a sincere compliment and then going away. Something like “Hey just wanted to tell you I really like your outfit” and then fucking off.
Eventually, you will start feeling comfortable enough to take the necessary steps to talk to women wjthout a problem.
The other option is to devise a challenge for yourself that will test you mentally and physically and is so big that once you complete it, you will never have fear of women again. This challenge may be something like going out to the same nigh club, night after night and forcing yourself to approach women. The end goal might be for you to make out with a girl you just met 10 minutes ago. You should stay in the club all night until you either complete your mission or the club closes. If the club closes and you are unsuccessful, you get to do it again the next night.
These challenges will force you to face your fears and phobias. After that, approaching a girl on a bus would be easy as cake.
Next time any woman does this just give her some space. Give her a little spiel like: ‘I’m sorry, where are my manners, let me give you some space.” and smile while giving her some space. If she is interested and she has any social acumen at all she will close that space down and start talking to you.
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A woman standing too close one time on a public bus, I wouldn’t think too much about it unless she does it again. Some very shy women do this, but you can’t assume anything. One time is a weird accident, if she does it more than once or she starts to pop up where you least expect it then at least say hi.