Would you lose interest in your girlfriend because you couldn’t make her cum?
I’m worried my ex boyfriend (dated for 2 months) lost interest in me because I couldn’t orgasm. I’m not saying it was something he realised, but maybe subconsciously the fact that he wasn’t able to make me orgasm (I can orgasm just fine on my own) made him lose interest in me and that’s why he ended things?
I would let him know that it was me overthinking things and had nothing to do with his skills. Even though I couldn’t finish everything he did to my body was amazing and I told him that. Idk, I’m just confused.
30 comments
I don’t think many guys would go as far as he did, IF that’s the reason. Don’t let it bother ya too much or else the panic of not cumming will keep ya from cumming with the next guy and it’ll just be a bad cycle
I feel like alot of women don’t start having consistent orgasms until like their late 20s/early 30s.
So in that sense i wouldn’t worry about it.
I would more likely think you weren’t in to or comfortable enough with me
Only stupid children end a relationship for reasons like that. If he was a stupid child you are better off without him, if he wasn’t then that was not the reason.
Non-stupid, non-children talk to their partners about sex or any other issue they might have.
2 months is no time at all. A relationship ending in that space generally means there was a fundamental incompatibility. The “he’s just not that into you” scenario.
It sucks, but it is normal. Not something to dwell on or obsess over.
I can almost guarantee you that he didn’t leave you because you can’t orgasm. Your “relationship” only lasted 2 months. Sounds like he got bored in general.
If my partner couldn’t orgasm I would ask what an I doing wrong. I would ask show me what you like and how you like it.
Men are not properly educated in how to please women. Most men think that pounding away at the poor girl is going to get her there.
If your bf isn’t getting you there. Show him. Tell him how you like it. What you like.
Show him how you like to be fingered, eaten out, and how fast or slow you want intercourse.
COMMUNICATION!
Yeah, you should be into it. Also, penetration doesn’t usually lead to orgasm; it is rare. You should try taking care of yourself also – clitoral stimulation during sex. Again, you need to be into it – I’d be turned off if somebody is having sex with me because I want it; it’s not fun unless they really want my penis.
when a guy wants me to cum it makes me feel like Im on stage. gives me anxiety and feel pressured.I have to be VERY comfortable with you and trust you so I can relax
Some women just can’t orgasm with a partner. No matter how much they try and how much you feel good. Either mental block, birth control, trauma ect, I’m right there with you, it SUCKS!
BUT my partner absolutely loves and dotes on me and hasn’t lost interest at all, he’s the first person I told straight away that I’ve never been able to unless solo, and I’ve never felt the need to fake it with him.
I now can with a vibrator and him using it on me which has never happened before. So it will just take time.
The right person won’t mind much at all and will try to help you overcome the boundaries.
Good luck.
Truthfully, it’s exhausting and feels emasculating. Sex is an important part of a relationship and when it isn’t good (not blaming, it can be not good for many reasons), it’s just not fun anymore.
Some people aren’t compatible and that is why we date. Trying to make every relationship into a long term thing is fucking up dating royally. Dating isn’t to determine how many things you can tolerate, it’s to find someone that a list isn’t even started.
I think a lot of women can’t cum easily from what men think of as ‘Sex’. As I teen and younger man I was oblivious to this as most men are.
It really is all about foreplay, make it all about her for 10-15 minutes before intercourse and 9/10 times she’ll cum.
Unattractive is a bad use of word for this. Mostly it hurts his ego and makes his penis feel small.
A man will want to know what he is doing wrong so he can fix this problem.
Which is why faking the orgasm is a time honored tradition.
If you can’t orgasm with me, then what is the point of having sex with you? There is no sense in staying in a romantic relationship with someone who doesn’t find me to be attractive.
Take charge and show him that a vibrator is his teammate not competition sometimws
That’s why I faked all my life. Have no problem having orgasms on my own, but not with a partner. Gotten close once or twice, and then he changes speed or pressure and it’s gone. I’ve had some amazing sex in my life, so not reaching an orgam is not a big deal to me. I can do it on my own in the bathroom in 2 min after we finish. I don’t want the pressure of reaching it fucking up the rest of the experience. Also, have never been able to cum from PIV, as most women can’t.
Sometimes I (male) can’t cum either. It happens, no biggie. But consistently not Cumming sounds like a problem. I’ve never been intimate with a woman who couldn’t cum at all. In my relationships I’ve had instances where she or I needed oral or manual assistance, or just weren’t in it at the time and could cum. But complete lack of ability to cum probably has a psych component. Could be too much masturbation, not enough attraction, too much anxiety, etc. Something is going on.
I’d try different positions. Working out also helps with stamina. I think some people have trouble cumming because they get too tired to finish.
I think for young guys it can be pretty hard to let it go because it feels unfair to orgasm and not be able to make your partner orgasm. Like there’s something wrong with you. I’m sure some guys will find it ‘unattractice’ but most I think will take it out on themselves. As they get older and have more experience with women though, they get over it and realize that making you orgasm while great, isn’t required for you to have a good time.
I probably would loose interest but I am also a wierdo with a orgasm fetish
Figure out how to start the multiplayer, if youre so good at the solo campaign, lol… Saying you simply cant is giving up! Try again! Try harder! Figure it out! Only you can!
Integrate vibrator play as part of your sex routine. Gets her off every time
Idc
It’s not an issue.y girlfriend has a very hard time orgasming. And it’s fine, I know that it’s not something she’s necessarily in control of. But regardless I want her to have a good time so we bought some toys to use, tried some stimulation creams, and started exploring her kinks. I make her orgasm a lot now but even if she couldn’t I’d still love her.
In your case, the relationship only lasted two months. I highly doubt that’s why he broke up with you. He probably just realized he wasn’t about it, got bored, realized there wasn’t the chemistry he was looking for, or some other reason. That’s life it sucks but it happens but it was only two months. Take care of yourself and when you’re ready get back out there. And don’t take it personally
My last ex had a hard time with orgasming unless she was incredibly relaxed and had it a certain way (would eventually work with a vibrator, but it took an amazingly long time otherwise.). She was always self conscious about it, but when I told her it takes me a long time too I think it helped.
So ya, for me at least, it doesn’t matter. An orgasm is a bonus, and communication is key.
As my wife has aged she doesn’t always orgasm during sex , no matter what i do . I took it personally at first ( like she wasn’t into me any more) then learned that a lot of things hold her back and none of them I can fix, age, stress, not being able to relax and completely enjoy the moment . She still enjoys our sex , just doesn’t always finish with a orgasm.
Stop blaming yourself. If your partner isn’t listening to your body then you need to find someone with better ears. Men can be very selfish when it comes to sex, with many never advancing out of the “2 pump chump” phase. However, many men have learned how to listen to what a woman’s body is saying. The pleasure you experience under the sheets has more to do with being with the right person. The right person will listen closely to what your body wants and desires.
First and foremost, we are each responsible for our own pleasure.
If I care about the girl, her not having an orgasm will bother me.
If I don’t care about her, then I don’t care.
Shoe on the other foot – if you couldn’t get your man to orgasm, how would you feel? I don’t think it’s unreasonable to think that maybe once you’d overlook it once or even twice. But after awhile you might start feeling a little inadequate.
Maybe that’s where he was at.
I could see it, especially if he was afraid it would be weaponized against him at a later point. Why make yourself feel bad in the moment and also have it hang over your head whenever there’s a fight?
Extremely. If she looks board it’s a mood ruiner for sure.
It’s complicated.sex is a big factor for me and I’m a pleaser, the most important thing for me in sex is seeing my partner ‘satisfied’. I dated a woman that would ‘enjoy’ sex but that never had orgasmed in life, was very frustrating and certainly made me feel inadequate etc. Sex was good but frustrating at same time.