I (26F) just moved in with my boyfriend(23M) of almost 5 months. We know it was soon but we are in employee housing for seasonal work currently and it just was the cheaper more convenient option. We have been kind of broke lately because of the pause in seasonal work and due to weather we can’t do the normal things we both enjoyed doing for fun when we first started dating.
It seems like now that we live together we just come home and sit in silence and do nothing. We were already having issues with intimacy before this and tried to talk through it, things got better for about 2 days and we have had sex two times since that conversation (about a month ago).
It almost feels like we became roommates, not even friends, the moment we officially moved in and I can’t tell if it’s the stress of both of us being broke on top of moving or if our relationship is just dead and we shouldn’t have done this in the first place.
5 comments
The honeymoon phase is over. The relationship either ends or transforms into a more vulnerable relationship
If you can’t enjoy spending normal time together, then this isn’t going to work as a long-term relationship.
I think for some couples, being able to sit in silence together while doing your own activities is a nice thing. But I don’t think it should feel lonely! And when you both decide to take a break from your solo activities, lots of awesome sex should be happening!
If you were already having issues then why did you move in?
I was in a similar situation years ago. I moved in with my ex pretty much the day after we hooked up lol. We stayed together for six years, but the last two were a lot like what you are going through right now. The best piece of advice I can give you is to be your own person. If he doesn’t want to go out, go out by yourself. Hang out with your friends. Invite him, but if he wants to stay then don’t force him. If he shows no motivation to go out with you, then he’s probably emotionally checked out. That was me at the end of my last relationship. If you break up with him, just know that you are probably making it easier for him. He might want to break up but he just can’t because of your situation. Women initiate the break up 80% for a reason, guys don’t like to admit it’s over even though they know it is.