I lost my virginity to my current boyfriend and the first times going on top I was a bit nervous and didn’t know what to do, and he told me I looked uncomfortable and took me off which instantly shot down my confidence even more, he also said that in his last relationship that was his favourite position and they did it all the time which added to an extra layer of insecurity and ever sense I just can’t be on top and I don’t know how to get over this? How can I gain more courage and confidence to be on top?
7 comments
Ride your pillow record it, watch it, study it,
Practice makes perfect. Ride your pillow… ride his best friend… (jk jk, but it sounds like he was maybe not so considerate of your feelings when he said that – don’t let him take this from you. You are a sexy creature and he is lucky to have you wanting him in the first place!)
To practice – Watch girls riding on porn – see what they do and copy it.
Well first, he wants to have sex with you, so he must think you look good. So give him a show. Second, if you’re not confident with the mechanics of it, I bet he’d be happy to let you practice.
Maybe we’re just bad at it, but girl-on-top/cowgirl is a position where you take turns because it’s difficult for men and women to both get something out of the same motions.
So there’s actually two different phases. When it’s your turn, that’s the easy part. Just do what feels nice, which is probably grinding on him. The only way to mess up is to hurt him or not have fun.
When it’s his turn, try hovering over him an inch or two and asking him to help you thrust. Try to figure out what he’s trying to do, which is probably deep and steady thrusts, and when you feel like you can take over, take over. It would be best to try and help him understand before hand that you’re not sure what he wants and have some insecurity around it.
Practice practice and practice. Also exercise regularly so that you can ride longer, if you enjoy riding on top.
That being said, let me tell you something more important since you are new in the game.
Remember this: You are beautiful, your body is perfect. You’re not loud, you’re not awkward, you deserve to be praised, appreciated, to be pleasured, to orgasm, to have fun. Sex is fun.
If a guy says/does otherwise, it’s not you, it’s him.
Repeat these words in your head, love and enjoy your body. If/when you do, your sex partners will always be grateful to have crossed your path.
Amuse-toi bien, happy riding!
relax and let go! your body knows what to do and it gets better over time 🙂
This isn’t nearly as pressure filled as it would be if this was a hook up. He is your boyfriend. Have a talk with him about how to do the position, how he did it before, and the way he liked it. That’s what you’re going to have to do about your own wants and desires, tell him what they are and how you want to do them. There shouldn’t be any insecurity because he chose you as his girlfriend. You may think you are being compared to his past, but he just wants to replicate it with you. Not think of you as “not as good” as his others. It’s going to take some practice and it will not be great at the beginning. But a caring person you are in a relationship with will work with you.
Edit: He should not have taken you off. He should have told you what to do differently. He has some responsibility in this too. You have a right to feel insecure given that.