Maybe it’s just not possible for me to find someone

I (24M) am still a virgin and haven’t even been on one date yet. Being autistic hasn’t helped. I pretty much have no ways to meet women IRL since my city is kinda on the smaller side and there isn’t much around for people my age. I’m also hamstrung because I don’t drive (I’m very ashamed to admit that I still can’t drive because of my anxiety). Even when I was around women at my community college, I still couldn’t make something work. I lean on dating apps now since I don’t want to look like a creep trying to approach women IRL and possibly be blasted on social media. Predictably, I’ve gotten nowhere with dating apps either.

The closest I’ve come to finding a partner were a couple of European girls I met on penpal websites. Of course, they ghosted me too. I really want to be kinder to myself about not being partnered. I’m in somewhat decent physical shape, I like to do intellectually stimulating activities like reading books and watching documentaries, I’m in college and am getting good grades and even excelled in extracurriculars so much to the point where I appeared in my local newspaper a couple times and spoke at my community college’s graduation ceremony.

Still, it feels like I have to earn/buy a woman’s love. My dad even told me that women won’t take me seriously because of the not driving thing and because I can’t offer financial security. One of the girls I met from the penpal site pretty much ghosted me because the guy she ghosted me for had the money to buy her a plane ticket and I didn’t (her words). I feel like nothing I do is enough. I’m a nerdy introverted guy so of course most women probably find me boring. I really wish I could genuinely believe that I am worthy of a woman’s love.