Im going to start at the first time i caught her just because this is too long of a story and im too depressed to type out the whole thing.
So this past couple months ive been seeing my ex again (yes i know shes an ex for a reason lol I understand now) anyway ive had a sneakiny suspicion that shes been cheating on me with someone else so when she was messaging this person late at night i didnt mean to but i glanced over to see and she was talking to the guy who i presumed it was and caught her saying she wished it was him taking her out on a date instead of me, saying how she’s excited for their date at a certain restaurant and how she just wished he would love her instead of me, so the next day i didnt message her all day and thought about how i should approach it and i decided to tell her and she broke down apologising saying shes so sorry and shes break it off with him yada yada. And even though i shouldnt have because once a cheat always a cheat i forgave her and said as long as hes gone id forgive her and after a few days of thinking and apolgising on her behalf we were good again… until…
So this week she was messaging perfectly fine nothing seemed out of the ordinary until yesterday she sent a picture of her at the restaurant she said she was excited for the other guy to take her to so i immediately questioned her and she said she cancelled with him and took her girl friend from work yada yada so i was immediately suspicious but went along with it because i was trying to trust her again so i left it and went on with my night.
Then comes tonight, so i arrived at her flat and we had dinner talked about our week for a little while and she fell asleep while we watched netflix on her macbook, about an hour later im still watching and shes fast asleep when a notification pops up, its a message from the other guy and even though i wanted to trust her and let it be there was no reason hed be messaging her today if she broke it off with him 3 weeks ago so i looked and then i kept looking and it turns out she hadnt stopped seeing him at all and she did go on the date with him to the restaurant and lied to me it was with her female friend.
I woke her up and told her i knew and walked out to drive home, and even though i know what i saw and have pictures because i thought shed delete the messages shes calling me the bad guy and getting mad at me for going through her private messages. I didnt want to but shed lied to me once and promised to cut him off but he messaged her 3 weeks later so i felt i needed to know… i feel horrible for going through them but when i told her shes just denied it and denied it calling me paranoid.
24 comments
Don’t let her gaslight you. Just block her and move on. She is your ex now and you did nothing wrong.
Just ignore her. She’s lashing out because she got caught and is trying to make you feel bad about it.
Ok what advice do you want from us? You already know what to do
You’re being gaslight, block her and move on. It might be hard, but it’s for the best
It’s the last defense of an unrepentant cheater.
Just kick her to the curb. Don’t waste another moment of your time thinking about her.
Just more evidence that she’s not worth being with.
My ex-fiancee lied about her affair and when I looked at the texting records to verify (I had been paying for her phone service), she freaked out saying I violated her privacy. These people are shameless and will always find ways to make themselves a victim.
Edit: Just realized I may not have been clear–by looking at the records, I discovered she had been lying about a lot of things but most importantly when she started with the guy and how long it had been going on.
Cheaters do this. Attack you for their failings.
Fuck her. Block her. Move on she isnt worth the stress
This is a classic female strategy.
If she pissed you off and you shout, the problem is the shouting.
If you piss her off and she shouts, the problem is you pissing her off.
You had a suspicion and it panned out, she’s a crook.
You don’t stay friends with cheaters. You block them and move on with your life.
Exception would be if you had kids together, but you still don’t stay friends. You keep the conversations strictly about the kids.
Classic cheat er response. She is not sorry she ch. she is sorry she got caught. You can use her for sex but that is about it
Never, ever, EVER feel bad for having to do that. You were following your gut and it led you to the truth. If she wants to be mad because she got caught, thats her problem, not yours. Ignore her and go live your best life.
my ex also lashed out about the invasion of her privacy when she was caught in her lies. liars love to deflect. you’re not the bad guy.
She’s gaslighting you. You’re not crazy. She lied to your face. When someone shows you who they are believe them the first time.
You are the bad guy to her. You absolutely ruined her lil game of being a cheating bad person.
I hope she’s blocked everywhere. She sounds awful.
why are you still talking to this person? close the line of communication.
Deflecting cause she’s trash
Gaslighting and blame shifting, serious bad signs. Not someone you want to be with. If you dont walk maybe she’ll let you watch? Because thats the situation you ARE in.
Either walk or learn to share. And when someone shows you who they are, believe them. She is NOT a safe partner.
Dude grow a backbone and go no contact.
So many other (actual) ladies out there.
She got promoted to Ex Ex girlfriend. Never again buddy. You shouldn’t have given her a shot the first time you caught her.
In a relationship there’s privacy and there is secrecy.
The only time secrecy is forgiven is for planning parties and gifts.
Mine accused me of gaslighting her while gaslighting me. I didn’t even know what gaslighting meant.
Op You are the bad guy.
You are the bad guy, because you didn’t dump and toss her bitch ass from your life from the get go.
She’s pissed she got caught and is gas lighting you. Your ex is in the wrong here not you. I’m sorry she betrayed your trust.
This is DARVO. She is no victim. You had a hunch and found evidence. Don’t let her DARVO you anymore.