right person, wrong times? is it even worth it to ask?

towards the end of the summer, i(22F) met a guy(29M) on a dating site. we messaged back and forth for a few hours and by the end of the day i was on my way over to his house. the vibes were right, the conversation was good, i wasn’t looking for a relationship but i knew that i wanted something to come out of me meeting him.

talking to him in person was even better than over text. it felt like i had known him for years, conversation felt natural and we were both just very open with each other from the jump. we ended up hooking up that night (which god damn best sex ive had) and we agreed to see each other again because we both felt a connection and there was a lot of chemistry.

a few days later we went on our first official date and by the end of it we agreed to give our relationship a few months before we made things official. we lasted about 2 1/2 months before agreeing to mutually break things off. we never argued or had any major fights during our time together, we just both had a lot going on in our lives and he wasnt able to prioritize a relationship, and we also agreed there was no spark/romance between us. nothing wrong with it there were no hard feelings. it was hard for both of us because we both cared about each other deeply but it was for the best and we agreed to stay friends.

we were very low contact for a while until recently. he replied to something random i posted and asked if i wanted to come over, and i sure did. it felt like we never stopped talking, i got those butterflies again, i wanted to just ask for him to be mine again. i let him control what happened, i waited for him to initiate the little touches, cuddles and kisses. we had sex and it was even better than when we were dating, we were both a little shocked. i slept over that night and when i left in the morning he sleepily asked for a kiss goodbye like he always did and i fell for him all over again. i’ve gone over a few times since then, we mostly just cuddle and smoke and watch tv and often have sex. at this point we’ve kinda silently agreed to be fwb, both our lives are stressful once again and companionship is what we need right now.

for the last few weeks i’ve been wanting to ask him his feelings about us because i dont want all these feelings to resurface just for nothing to happen. i always listen to my gut has never failed me once, the night we broke things off she was screaming at me not to let him go. now that he’s back shes telling me it feels right. it feels like we’re dating again, but it feels better than the first time. there actually seems to be more intimacy, there actually seems to be a mini spark forming. he lost a family member the day before thanksgiving and my focus right now is giving him the space he needs to grieve, so im not going to ask any time soon.

but do i even bother to ask? it seems like anytime we’re back in each others lives everything else around us goes wrong, but we both agreed that ending things the first time felt weird and wrong. if i ask and he doesnt want a relationship i wont be upset, a little heart broken yeah but at least i’ll be able to stop feeling the way i do.

TL;DR dated this guy who i had a great connection with but we mutually broke things off due to stressful lives. we’re back to talking again with still stressful lives and im unsure if it’s worth it to ask how he feels about us…