I’ve been off work recently and took the chance to do some in person Xmas shopping. The sheer number of total fucking idiots in shops has left me in awe of how shop staff keep their mouths shut.
I saw:
TWO halfwits ask for discount vouchers to be applied AFTER their transactions were completed. The second immediately after the first. We were all handed the vouchers when we walked in. (Ta v much Matalan.)
Some lobotomised husk *shout up* to a kid at the top of a ladder in Asda to ask them to come down and show them where the eggs were, while standing 3 ft to their right was another staff member putting eggs on the shelf. When the kid pointed to the eggs, the husk barked “I asked you to COME DOWN AND *SHOW* ME!”.
A BMW driver (absolutely no way they drove anything else, except maybe an Audi) shouting at a barely-old-enough-to-work teenager because they couldn’t change his £20 note to pay for the parking, in a car park that is clearly signposted to NOT belong to the shop we were in (Tesco next to a private parking lot). As if tills actually opened without transactions in the past 20 fucking years, especially for the staff putting out the papers and not on a till!
A planet killing vigilante literally shouting loud for the whole shop to hear that the pharmaceutical companies were trying to force him to stop using plastic, and that it was his god given right to consume as much plastic as he wanted, when offered a paper bag in Boots. For his sandwich. While holding a bag that clearly didn’t have much in it already.
Also saw a woman fall to the floor when a mobility scooter passed by her and try to act like she’d been knocked down by it. But that was in the high street and nobody reacted other than to bestow withering looks upon her…but it was funny so I added it on.
So, come on you wonderful and patient retail staff, get it off your chest! 😁
33 comments
After trying shoes on, put them back where you found them, dont leave them on the fucking floor, lazy bastards.
I worked in a bookies, so a bit of a different experience. But I wish punters would just put their fucking bets on in good time, rather than waiting until 3 seconds before a race starts then six of them sprint up to the counter and wave their betting slip in your face
Taking a frozen pizza out of the freezer and dumping their previous fresh chilled pizza they changed their mind on into the freezer or leaving a frozen item they’ve changed their mind on just dumped randomly in the store
Picking up an item from one shelf, then putting it back just one shelf down. Drives me nuts.
Especially when they have to go to more effort to put it back in the wrong place. Seriously what’s up with that?
Walk up to the nearest store assistant when they enter the store to ask where something is. Just go and have a look yourself!
Leaving rubbish around the shop. Throwing clothing on the ground. Throwing their money across the desk. Have refused to serve people based on that last one
Oh the item is out of stock, could you go and look out the back if there are anymore?
Yeah, i will just open the magic door to Narnia and get the 1 specific item that is out of stock. Used to piss me right off. I would walk to the canteen and make myself a brew whilst they thought i was out looking for the non-existent item.
My other least favourite thing is being asked a technical question about something, which you then spend half an hour explaining (repeatedly because they don’t listen) only to get to the end of the conversation and be told that “no I’m sure that’s not right, my friends brothers sisters uncles plumber told me…” 😡
Just bring your own carrier bags. If you’re coming in *every day*, surely at some point you could just stuff a carrier bag in your coat pocket?
Related, but don’t get a bag for *one* thing. I once had a guy buy a carrier bag just for a pack of pads, for Christ’s sake.
When something doesn’t scan straight away, do not fucking say “does that mean it’s free then? HAHAHAHAHAH”
If it’s a bank holiday/late night/weekend whatever, fuck off with “I can’t believe they make you work this [whatever], they should close so you can be at home with family”. Ever think that if folks like you weren’t shopping here, we might just be closed?
Looking at someone’s name on their badge and then calling them a shortened version cause you’re trying to be chummy, as if it’s going to get them to give you a discount or some shit, it’s just rude.
I’ve had racist abuse and being called a useless fucking idiot more than once. I’ve also had men make sexual comments on the basis of me looking east Asian. So I would say I wish some people would stop being racist, sexist arseholes. I also wish management would back you up when you say something, but I’ve always been met with “it’s part of the job”. Each and every time. Don’t work in retail anymore, and unless I’m completely destitute, I will never work in a public facing job ever again.
I don’t know if this is a common problem, or if I just live in a bad area, but people seem to constantly leave half-drunk or empty cans, takeaway cups etc strewn around the shops. It’s disgusting and I feel awful for the staff that have to clean them up. If people are able to buy the drink and carry it around, they can carry it to the damn bin when they’re finished.
Stop tapping your card before I’ve had a chance to see you’re paying with card to allow the card reader to take payment!!
Gym bros purposefully leaving the sole changing room door open when trying stuff on. It’s a tiny department, so I see all when standing behind the till. Creeps me out, but still better than the lads who just start stripping off on the shop floor…!
Oh, definitely a lot of what you mentioned applied when I worked at aHigh Street shop.
Some other things:
People walking around a huge queue and coming to your till and when you’d say ‘oh I’m sorry there is a queue there’ they would shout abuse at you and storm out. Use your eyes and join the queue, if you genuinely didn’t see it, apologise and join the back.
I used to work in a market stall version of this shop and people would haggle with you all the time. You’d say it was set prices from head office and they would get angry, then come in the next day and try it again. Listen to people and accept that this particular stall isn’t able to change prices.
People trying to return items from years previously and getting annoyed when you can’t accept it. Someone once returned a bra that was at least 8 years old (we no longer sold that particular name of bra and hadn’t for years) and said that they had been fitted for it and it no longer fits so it was our issue. Some items have a life span and should not be able to be returned after that and I wish people understood that.
Bras are only meant to be worn for 6-12 months before the elastic etc will start to change therefore meaning the fit won’t be the same. Also generally changes in body shape means that in 8 years your bra probably won’t fit unless you haven’t changed weight or shape at all which is unlikely.
I think everyone should work retail at some point. You have some lovely interactions with people and you can genuinely help people, but people talk like absolute shit for you and I think if they did a day they’d understand we can’t possibly know everything and everything in the shop and it isn’t always our fault personally when things go wrong. We also aren’t paid enough to deal with people like that.
Sorry that turned into a huge rant. I definitely could think of more but I won’t haha.
Putting frozen/chilled stuff on ambient shelves when they decide they don’t want it! It just has to be wasted off!
> Some lobotomised husk shout up to a kid at the top of a ladder in Asda to ask them to come down
Similarly maybe don’t ask me a question when I’m carrying something obviously heavy. Like if I’ve got an entire box of 1kg Stork in my arms and the shitty cardboard is one second from splitting open spilling margarine everywhere, it’s not really the best time. Or pushing a really heavy rolling cage because it takes so much momentum to stop them and get them going again.
A price label is not a gaurentee of price. In the vast majority of cases it’s something out of the shops control like a customer chucking an item back on an empty bit of shelf (you’d be surprised at the amount of people who don’t check the label description). Most places will honour 50p here or there even if there was no mistake just as an offer of goodwill, but don’t expect it, and don’t threaten to meet the person when they finish work if you don’t get that 50″ TV someone put above a label for Oxo for £2
Standing at the till point and coughing all over you without a care in the world, no attempt to use a tissue or turn away.
More something I find annoying as a customer, but it did annoy me when I worked McDonalds and in a pub. When it’s your turn to be served, have a fucking plan! If there’s no queue or you get to the front and you’re not sure then stand to the side and tell them to let the next person go, we’re not going to send you to the back. Equally, when you DO finally make up your mind, don’t suddenly act like its urgent and you’re in a rush.
I wish they would stop coming in to my shop. Can’t stand customers.
I don’t work in retail but it drives me mad on retail workers behalf when, in a clothing shop, someone picks up a folded item, unfolds it to look at it and then just puts it back on top of the (sometimes wrong) pile.
Fair play to those who work there, I honestly don’t think I could deal with that.
1. My wife worked in a Tesco petrol station mini mart place in East London. She said there was a fellow who would come in every day and complain that they didn’t have the Redbull he wanted. Every day. THEY DON’T SELL IT, DICKHEAD, GO TO ANOTHER SHOP. Also people who would just walk in and say ‘BREAD’ or ‘EGGS’. Some of which could be attributed to language issues but still. People would walk up to the till and just chuck a £20 at her without saying ‘this is for petrol at pump 3’ or whatever, then just walk out. People would regularly eat part of something and just fuck off leaving the rest of it/the packaging on a shelf. People would go in and complain to the checkout staff about price increases, as if they had some control over them. People would complain that they couldn’t buy more than one massive bottle of cooking oil – when the whole area is filled with Asian cash & carrys with masses of stock. So many stories.
2. I used to manage a high end interiors online business with many customers in Knightsbridge, Chelsea etc. On the day of the 7/7 bombings, I had a van load of stock going to a wealthy woman’s house in the West End. People were dying all over the place, police and ambulances everywhere, most roads shut. I called this woman to tell her that her van was not going to reach her. She honestly sounded like she was going to cry. ‘But I need this stuff’ she said. I asked her to please put the news on so she could understand, ‘London is literally under attack, we cannot deliver your baskets today’. She said it was ‘disgusting’ and ‘appalling service’ and that she would be writing to my MD.
God I hate people
Ok this is food retail but for the love of god, if you decide you don’t want an item anymore, put it back where you found it, especially if it’s refrigerated or frozen but honestly just in general. Nothing screams entitled “my time is worth more than yours” than just dumping something on any old shelf. Or if you really can’t bring yourself to put it back at least give it to an an actual member of staff so they can put it back, rather than just dumping it on a shelf.
I already commented but I remembered another as it’s near Christmas..
CLICK AND COLLECT;
BRING YOUR OWN FKN BAGS. OFFER TO HELP THE COLLEAGUE LOAD INTO YOUR CAR (Unless you genuinely have back problems) OR ITS GETTING CHUCKED IN.
And the biggest one.. DONT GET ANGRY IF SOMETHING IS MISSING OR LOOKS OFF. Just nicely ask if you can change it for something else. We get you may have been waiting a while.. just don’t be a cunt about it.
Sincerely, a retired store manager who is finally going to enjoy a non retail Christmas in peace!
Worked in a builders merchant for 11 years
I refused to serve people on their phones. They would ask/moan why I wasn’t serving them to be told it’s fecking ignorant to be on your phone.
Customer, I need stones for my driveway. 1 of 2 answers usually.
Me, what area are you covering (m2 is an answer I’m waiting for) Renfrew.
Or
Enough for 2 cars
Me, limos or minis?
Customer, a normal size car.
Customer, Building a 6ft fence can I get however many 6ft posts.
Me, 8ft is what you need.
Customer, I told you it’s a 6ft fence.
Me, ok you know best.
I could go on.
Respect the person on the other side of the counter it ain’t hard to say please and thank you and when done have a nice day.
Stand in a long queue and be angry about it.
Get to the front of the queue and then complain to the staff member about the queue.
YOU ARE THE QUEUE, why you moaning about yourself? Just fuck off.
Mine was always coming in 5mins before close so as a Manager I always had 1 door closed 15mins before close and then both 5mins before and would stand at the door asking what they wanted and that the shop was only open for another 2 minutes.
I never do it as a customer
I worked in Lidl for a month. Within my first couple of hours of being on the till ( literally no training ) I had a customer ( one of the first I had served ) come all the way back to the shop , Q up all over again , to then shout at me that I had in fact charged him for a large croissant instead of a small one , and that he had got all the way back to work before he found out , and came all the way back to rightfully claim his ….. *DRUM ROLE PLEASE* …… 20p . He treated me like I had shot his first born child because I had accidentally over charged him 20p, in my first hour of working on the tills. I lasted just on a month there, my patience for human beings had been severely reduced.
Stop coming to return your item without a receipt. Don’t even attempt it. If you lost your receipt just suck it up you’ve lost your money or you can sell the item on vinted. Almost nowhere will let you return or refund an item without a receipt and all receipts have policies on the back. Read them. It’s your responsibility.
Not exactly retail, but when I worked in McDonalds I found it horrifying how many people treated staff member like crap. I wasn’t there to be used as a “Son, do well at school or you’ll end up like her” example. Most of the people there were students. And even if they weren’t, someone has to do the job so you can get your precious Big Mac, so treat them with respect.
Stop telling me you are gonna go to Sainsbury’s instead because you forgot your Tesco Clubcard and couldn’t use mine to get my staff discount. Lol, we don’t give a shit if you wanna shop elsewhere. Like it’s such a big threat and I’m gonna lose sleep over it
When people let their children run riot and be little shits then while staring at you smirking say, “Be careful darling or the lady will tell you off!”
Fuck off. Your kids you discipline them.