So I (F) have been dating my boyfriend for nearly five months now fully long distance. We’ve only met in person once at a Starbucks for about 30 minutes since I was passing through his area but I am moving closer to him in August for college.
I’ve had insecurities with my body since I started dating him since he used to follow thousands of girls with big bums and big boobs while I’m a tall, skinny girl. However, when I brought this up as an issue he immediately unfollowed all of them and prioritized our relationship which I obviously felt really good about.
I’ve been working out for about two months now trying to put on weight and someone commented on my progress at the gym today which made me feel properly confident about my body for the first time since I started dating him. (Btw he has always been supportive saying that I’m perfect and he loves my body)
I’ve told him about my insecurities and he’s well aware of how I get in my head sometimes. He’s at his dad’s house currently for Easter and I decided to surprise him with a load of sexy pics on Snapchat since we haven’t gotten much chance to talk and we’ve been missing each other (or at least he says he has).
But he opened them and basically responded with “sorry, I’m busy” which I feel like id be fine with if he had opened a couple but he went through all of them and then just said he was busy.
It seems as though he might think I was asking for something in return but I quite frequently send him things with nothing in return so I don’t think that’s the case. He knows I like to surprise him sometimes.
But I am completely wrecked. I went from such a confidence high to feeling god awful. I just don’t even want to share anything with him ever again I honestly feel used.
I know that seems dramatic but this is my first boyfriend and I am frequently feeling like he doesn’t put enough effort into calling me and his compliments have gotten a lot less sincere lately.
(Tl:dr) But basically one of the questions I’m trying to ask is was it a red flag that he was following literally thousands of girls that look nothing like me at the beginning or our relationship?
And then should I be concerned about him not saying anything about all the pictures I posed in just for him?
2 comments
He sounds incredibly supportive and it’s amazing that he unfollowed anyone who was causing you trouble without even being ask to do that.
It sounds like he is visiting his father right now and he isn’t in a good place where he can look at sexy time pictures. He might also be very tired out from the traveling. Visiting with family can be stressful.
Wait until he is back and then you can talk to him about them.
It sounds like you are feeling very insecure about their relationship so you might try to give him a call later on when he is not so busy just to say hello.
I’m a little concerned you are so invested in someone you have only met once and even more concerned that you are so focused on whether he likes the way you look.
He sounds incredibly nice and the relationship sounds promising, but you don’t know what it’s like to spend time with him in person on a regular basis.
Your value is about a lot more than your looks. He may think you are the most attractive person in the world, but what if you don’t feel that ‘spark’ when you and he get more intimate?
My advice is to spend less time focusing on what you look like, live a full and interesting life and let this relationship play out. If things work out with him, great. If not, there are lots of single men to get to know.