I’m 25 years old and up until the other day I thought I had kept my youthful looks.
Until I was frequenting a local supermarket (Sainsbury’s) and browsing the cheese aisle for some decent stilton and a woman with what I was a presume was a misbehaving child gestured to me out of the blue and said ‘the man is looking at you’.
Now I vaguely remember my mother doing the same thing to me at the time in an attempt to ‘scare me straight’ but I’ve never been on this end of the scenario before.
I have no kids nor any experience with kids so I’ve no idea if I was supposed to do/say something in this situation.
I just hit em with an awkward closed mouth smile and walked away.
I never did get my stilton.
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Edit: Spelling
22 comments
Start to take your belt off and they’ll both probably run scared
As a woman, I get called The Lady.
Nope, that’s my mum!!
Invite the child to play who can yell the loudest
Say in a passive aggressive tone, ‘excuse me, *the man* has a name you know’!
Forget about all of that, where’s this magical cheese isle you speak of?
Have a shave, try and buy some booze and get the inevitable ID request. It’ll brighten your day no end.
This trick only works until about 30, though.
I’ve occasionally been invoked as some mystical higher power authority figure when I’m working and the kid is acting up in my presence. Usually just existing is enough, they don’t really need/want any kind of interaction. Mostly I’ve been slightly bemused and then concerned that the child will see through the facade and realise that I’m not some kind of all powerful demigod.
Whip ya cock out.
No, don’t
You’re doing pretty well if you’re 25 and this is the first time you’ve been referred to as ‘the man’. But welcome to the club now.
Sorry about your stilton.
Look at the child and say: “Yes I am, so listen to your mum and stop being a little cunt.” Then walk away.
I’d probably put your cock away before you go shopping next time.
Make Dracula hands and go “wooOoOo”
[Like this](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxQhLZ5bMyQ)
Could be worse. There was a toddler misbehaving in an airport, I was sat minding my own business and her nutcase mother points to me and screams in her strong Glaswegian accent “DARREN, IF YOU DON’T STOP MISBEHAVING THAT BAD SCARY MAN THERE IS GOING TO TAKE YOU AWAY!”
Pull a funny face
It’s a humbling moment to realise when you get older you still see yourself as young but to others you look your age
To some extent this is for the benefit of the child though. To them, you are *old*. If she were talking about you to another adult, she’d more than likely go with ‘that guy’ or ‘that young man’.
Is it being called “the man” that bothered you or the suggestion you were looking at some random woman’s kid?
This happened to me once with a 5/6 year old. I nodded at the mum, crouched down and spoke to the child nicely. I asked what she was doing, listened patiently, then gave her a slap and walked off.
No, not really. I explained that I understood what she was doing, but that it wasn’t working and that all she was doing was upsetting her mum. Then I asked her what we could do to make it right and she apologised to her mum and gave her a big hug. I ruffled her hair, told her she did a good thing and gave her a quid to buy some sweets. Then I stood up and slapped her mother. Verbally. I politely but firmly told her mother not to put people on the spot in that way, especially men as we already have to deal with people being nervous of us around their children without someone claiming we’re watching their child.
Honestly I was furious, but there was no way I could show that without looking like a danger and I didn’t want to scare the kid. I love kids and refuse to treat them like little idiots. Kids don’t always understand their own motivations too well but they tend to have reasons, even daft ones. Taking them seriously allows you to help them to understand what is happening. Obviously it’s not a method that always works, but I still maintain that treating children like little idiots is a terrible thing. Dumb parents on the other hand. Yeesh.
You biologically became a man around 14-15 so you’re most definitely a man at 25. Embrace it old man.
I used to get this when i worked in retail. I was 18/19 and parents were trying to use me as some kind of threat towards their misbehaving kids? I was probably more scared of this random child than they were of me.
When it happens, that’s it, lifes over. You’re now old.
Give a finger gun.
I got that about 6 months ago and I always get IDed, have a babyface and am 20 (was 19) so I wouldn’t worry. It was rough though, someone said if you don’t start behaving, this man will get you, or something like that as I just walked on awkwardly.