Whenever we are in the car it’s common that my bf will play music and often serenade me with certain songs. I’ve always found it very romantic.
I recently discovered he has a playlist on his music app for his ex and those songs are on that playlist. My first reaction was to be upset and feel like I’m not special. That being said, this is my first healthy relationship. A lot is new to me and I’m learning not everything that upsets me is something to get upset over.
Is this something worth being upset over? Does it mean anything that he plays the same songs for me that he did for her?
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My last partner would do this (get upset over things that I may have done with an ex). In the end we could never do anything and he missed out on many many beautiful experiences we could have had, so that I could avoid doing anything that I had ever done with an ex
Would you be upset if he gave you flowers, if he’s given someone else flowers in the past? I wouldn’t read too much into it, he probably just finds the songs romantic and doesn’t let his past relationship devalue them
A good song is a good song. I wouldn’t read too much into it if all else is fine.
They are the songs he knows the lyrics to, and he sings them to you.
I have a playlist like this full of love songs and breakup songs that I love to sing from regularly.
Though I may have come across some of those songs during the course of other relationships, I don’t really make any strong associations with who I was with at the time; For me, it’s really more about how I feel *now* than about some moment in the past.
Your feelings are valid and understandable since it’s your first relationship, but I think that with experience and relationships we can understand that while not every experience with media may be a unique experience, it doesn’t mean it isn’t deeply valuable and meaningful in the present context and moment.
We have a limited amount of time to experience this life we’re living. Each day, each heartbeat is something we’ll never get back so how we spend it is important; You two are choosing to spend those limited precious heartbeats with each other. That’s pretty special, IMHO.
The music isn’t about you, it is a window into him and how he feels. Just because he opens the same window for you that he opened for his ex doesn’t mean it isn’t special. It just means she didn’t appreciate the view.
Something about those songs are sweet and romantic to him and make him think about being in love. It’s not like he wrote a love song for her and then told you he wrote it for you. Cut him some slack.
If the song slaps just know it’s your cheeks not hers. Good music can’t be tainted with the past. There’s definitely a reason they’re not together anymore. Just like there’s a reason the two of you are. It takes a lot to make playlists. It would be a shame if something fun led you to the path of jealousy
If that is a playlist he made, then he feels those songs “belong” to him, not to his ex.
For me there’s just some songs I like because they remind me of being in love, not necessarily with a specific person , although there are songs that I do strongly associate with feelings for one person of my past I just can’t listen to them anymore lol. But I think it’s pretty normal to have your: I’m in love- playlist, your happy playlist, sad playlist, breakup playlist, etc.
he’s with you now, and enjoys your company now, and that’s what matters 😊
I don’t think he should still have a playlist dedicated to his ex. Why has he not deleted that or at least re-named it by now?
But it is understandable for him to still like the same music he did before, and still want to listen to the same songs, with you now, and singing to you logically follows. Generally I don’t find what he’s done here to be a problem, but he should delete the playlist and make a new one for you now.
Sounds like he’s recording over his ex memories with new ones starring you