Okay so I (25f) have a wonderful wonderful boyfriend (24m) and he’s told me I’m his first girlfriend and the first girl he’s ever seen naked in “real life” and who’s ever seen him naked. He grew up in a very religious environment that basically taught him to hide his body and be ashamed of who he was, and he also for some reason thinks he’s small and not sexy (he’s almost 6 inches with a decent amount of girth). He showed it to me before the first time we had sex (he made a bit of a thing out of it even though it really wasn’t a big deal) but I haven’t really seen it since then, since he only has sex with the lights off or under a blanket and he doesn’t even want me to go down on him and have me so close to his penis.
It seems like his self esteem is in the toilet and I don’t know what I can do to help. I definitely tell him what I like to make me feel good and I *definitely* let him know when I do feel good, but I don’t know what I can do beyond reassuring him.
Any help will be appreciated.
3 comments
Well they don’t hire male porn actors for their acting talent. It can give boys/young men a very distorted view of what is normal.
There’s going to be only so much you CAN do because you’re his gf. He’s always going to have in the back of his mind that whatever you say is because you “have to” be nice to him. Even when you’re 100% sincere. If this is bad enough that it is going to mess with your sexlife (which it sounds like) maybe he should consider seeing a sex therapist.
Also, I don’t know if your bf is a big guy, but if you’re 6 ft + and built like a linebacker it unfortunately means that even an average sized penis can look like a fucking tic-tac on your body. This does not help with self esteem.
[removed]
I posted about this a while back “do you have sex with the lights off”. I love seeing my wife and she loves seeing me however a ton of responses almost seems passive aggressive about feeling judged. It made me realize a lot more people are embarrassed or insecure about being seen naked. I posted this b/c one of my friends said he hasn’t seen his wife naked in several years. He said it to as if he wanted advice on whether this was normal. I felt it wasn’t and that he should start complimenting his wife more and slowly start to introduce sex with the lights on. Tell your SO little things to bolster his confidence “wow you look great in that shirt or pants”. Then start to compliment him during sex. It might be weird at first but I promise it will pay dividends at the end! I see you said he was proud of his size at the beginning. How did you react? Hearing compliments about his dick will be the fastest way to get him to shed his insecurities.