I’ve been in the city I currently live in for almost three years and have had a hard time establishing genuine friendships with other females. I haven’t been raised like many others here (Im born and raised from a small island in the Pacific so the values, traditions and entire way of thinking I was brought up with, hasn’t translate well here) and I’ve noticed that since I don’t think or act the same as a lot of folks here, it’s been hard to find like minded individuals. I’ve also recently discovered the person I’ve been sharing my life with for the past three years has been unfaithful (as well as an idiot for getting into trouble with the law, but that’s another post) so I find myself living alone, navigating a life I actually never prepared for unfortunately. One way I figured could help me get through the transition of a new environment and life would be a solid community of women but I just haven’t quiet found it yet. Don’t get me wrong, I have met and connected with three phenomenal women and sometimes we are able to meet, hang out and have even started a group chat (big deal for me since I’ve never really been the popular or likable person growing up) but since life is hard for everyone, not just me…it’s hard to be able to actually connect on a regular basis and/or confide in. I have friends back home but with the time difference and how challenging adulting is…it’s just not the same.
Is there anything special folks are doing to start and maintain friendships when in a new place and experiencing a life change?
2 comments
I’m a male 53. I can totally relate, I’m in Florida, from Hawaii. I basically just go along with it. But haven’t met many. Seems a little foreign even though it’s still the USA. Everything is different, conversation, food, hangout preferences, a SO, etc. I don’t have much to help your question lol. Following it though.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I have a hard time to find genuine friends too. After trapping in this problems for years, I started to ask myself what do I want from genuine friendship. Emotional support, someone who share my life story with, someone to hang out with? Genuine friendships helps in life. But it is ok not to have one in near location. Not genuine friends in short distance and genuine friends in long distances can meet these needs too. I’m more focusing on establishing romantic relationship which might lead to lifetime partnership and working relationships. The reason for people not spending time and energy to establish new same sex friendship could be they are busy establishing romantic relationships if they are not in marriage. Married couples find new friends who are married couples or with kids. Just some thoughts. It might not make sense to you. Hope you find your answer soon