A little bit of context, I am a 22M (straight) from a conservative country and am presently an international student at Canada. I have never dated before, briefly had a gf for a week or so during high school but it was mostly kid stuff.
Tbh, I am happy where I am. I have a lot to deal with currently since I completely moved round the world, all alone. I have made friends and have a busy life. I feel I am not ready for dating (or maybe I am?) but Idk since I don’t have prior experience.
Coming from a conservative society made me a kind of socially introverted mainly around girls but I had always been okay with it. But after coming to a progressive society such as Canada, I am having serious FOMO and becoming borderline desperate. The main reason is that I see my extroverted friends and even some of my introverted friends from my home country (who all came with me) be quite successful with their pursuit for girls.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have so much of luck. But what I have realised is it’s mainly FOMO and NOT that I really crave for it. I always had a mentality that things will happen when it needs to. But Idk after coming here, it has started to affect me. I am a virgin and sometimes it bothers me.
It was not really a big deal back home but here people normally aren’t virgins or have no dating experience by the time they are 22. I feel kind of lost as well as a step ahead of knowing myself.
Do let me know what do you think, especially if you are or have been in my situation. If you are a girl and are reading this, I would greatly appreciate your input as you can guess, I don’t have many girl ‘friends’.
5 comments
I was in your situation as well when I was 22. No one cares about it at all, and I have enough experience to last a lifetime. But I’ll tell you this, lie about it when asked and just be ambiguous if it comes up in the future. Many women are turned off by it and see it as a red flag. It implies that you were unsuccessful previously and were not wanted before.
Don’t worry about it. Just don’t stress. It will happen when it happens.
Dude same, I have and am going through the same situation. For me the feeling comes and goes and usually I am able to just ignore it. But I would say find a hobby or something to distract you from it. I’m not really much into the hookup culture and rather be in a long term relationship with someone.
As you get older people dont really care about it.
I had my first time in my mid teens, but after splitting up with my ex in my late teens, I started focusing on self. Im now in my early 30s and only just started seeing someone again after a 12 year dry spell. I might as well be a virgin again.
That dry spell was by choice. I have no urge for PIV sex. I can just rub one out when I need a release. I chose to focus on career and hobbies, sports rehab, and making myself the best me I can be before fucking around in someone elses life.
A mate of mine was in your spot and desperate to find out what the fuss was so we paid for an escort for his 18th.
It will happen when it happens. It really is nothing to worry about.
Yes