I still have feeling for her. I still love her, but she is a toxic person and her life since we broke up has been nothing but turmoil. I am currently in a healthy relationship of 2 years but don’t have the same strong feelings for her. I’m not sure if that’s because losing the love of my life made me untrustworthy of commitment or if the spark really just isn’t there. Me and my ex have always been on good terms and never been mad at each other, the separation was mutual because of long distance after she moved. The idea was for me to follow her there but how I read her attitude at the time and how the move happened, I got the feeling that she didn’t want me anymore. We both played the field for a bit and landed in new relationships. Mine was healthy and we took it slow. She got into multiple relationships with abusive men and destroyed her self confidence. We live across the nation from each other but she said she was willing to move back and get a job here. I am thinking of leaving my current gf because even entertaining this thought of getting back with my ex makes me think I am not right for her. Then telling my ex that we should meet up if she plans to move and take things slow to get back into a relationship. We both had moments that we thought we were going to die and we both honestly thought that the Only person we wanted in that moment was each other. I am excited, scared, confused, happy and sad and would appreciate any advice. Thanks
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Why would you want to jump back into a relationship with her if she’s still toxic and has been “nothing but turmoil?”
It’s normal to be this way about a past love. It’s not necessarily a sign your current relationship isn’t right, however. Everyone goes through points where they have their doubts. It’s especially hard to let go of the toxic relationships because, in addition to having the lowest lows, they have the highest highs. We always try to only look back at those good times. You broke up, and things didn’t go how she planned. This happens to a lot of people, they want out of the relationship only to realize it’s hard to find good people, then want to come back. After having overcome a relationship like thst, I can tell you that getting back together, things WON’T b3 different. In fact, they’ll go right back to toxic in a heartbeat. Best thing you can do is stop talking to her. Your current partner doesn’t deserve this. You’re in a good, healthy relationship. You need to stay the course and not go backwards. It sucks your ex is having a hard time, but it’s not your job (or anyone else’s) to save her. She has to figure it out for herself.
So what your saying is…”I’m in a healthy relationship right now but I want to jump back into a toxic one. I’m thinking of dumping my current gf and back with my ex.” That makes a lot of sense. I feel bad for your current gf.
First of all, if you’re still in love with your ex, you’re NOT currently in a healthy relationship. If you know your ex is toxic, why even consider getting back together with her? Your behavior here is also toxic so maybe you feel like you’re perfect for each other. Your current girlfriend deserves better than someone still in love with their ex.
>but she is a toxic person and her life since we broke up has been nothing but turmoil
Then why tf would you date this person again?
Follow your heart my dude, you only find that soulful connection once in your lifetime, regardless of how much time passes by and the people who enter your life, there is always that special one, the one you won’t be able to replicate those feelings you once had with anyone else.
Sure it might feel similar, but it won’t be on the same level of when you felt and you’ll know when something is off. So in your case you have the opportunity to reignite that flame, then I say go for it.
You learned from your past( and hopefully she did also) so the same mistakes won’t happen again, don’t let the negatives cloud your judgment when the beautiful positives outshine them. Good luck
Aka – her life isn’t working out how she hoped it would, so now she wants her safe option back