I want to please my girl. She likes oral. She also likes it if I’m more dominant.

It feels like these are conflicting because giving oral seems kind of submissive by nature.

Any advice for being more dominant while giving oral?

48 comments

  1. My favorite, her on her back in bed,my head between her legs, her wrist held against the bed with my hands.

    Alternatively if you want to get fancy, try some bondage, my personal favorite is a spreader bar, with wrist and ankle cuffs.

  2. Giving oral isn’t inherently submissive. I find that a weird take but it’s definitely a concept I’ve encountered before.

    Attitude is everything, a whisper in the ear, a grip on the thigh – you can dom it up as much as you both want.

  3. Being dominant isn’t all about being served. Giving oral isn’t an inherently submissive act.

  4. Im a Primal Dom, and I’ve always laughed at this bizarre idea that a Dominant man can’t give Oral!
    As a Primal, I take what I want (with consent) and I like orally pleasuring/teasing my sub.. nobody is going to tell me I’m not a Dominant because I do haha!

  5. Instruct her to lay back and spread exposing herself for you

    make her feel vulnerable (restrain her if your both into that)

    Tell her not to move. At all.

    Make her ask you if she tastes good if you like her perfect pussy etc

    Take your time

    Moan into her

    Tell her that shes a good girl etc how much you love it when shes submissive

    Make her beg to cum

    Nothing submissive about it

    Just make her feel like your not doing it for her but doing it for you

  8. When I go down on my wife I love to grip her thighs or ass real tight. If she reaches down to touch me, grab her wrists and hold them down. Tap into your animal instinct lol

  10. I’m dominant but I love giving blowjobs, that’s not submissive. You’re dominant when you’re in control and take what you want. In this case, you want to eat her out. If you want to bring more dominance into it, you can order her to lie down and spread her legs or restrain her. You can also give her forced orgasms, I find oral is one of the best ways for that. All with prior consent, of course.

  11. Hold her hands and force her legs open, edge her repeatedly, dont stop until you are Happy, and threaten her with that fact i suppose.

  12. Have her bend over with her ass up and eat it from the back. You could smack her ass and play with her rear while you’re doing it.

  13. There are tons of small ways to make it seem more dominate. Be more assertive with her body, don’t focus just on eating her, but tease and suckle every where. Push her legs back and dive in like you’re hungry for her, like she is your meal. Eat her for your pleasure not hers and make her feel that way and you’ll get the juices going

  14. I’ve always thought giving oral was kind of a dom thing because of how much control you have

  15. Why do men think giving oral is submissive???

    Tie her up and tell her “now that you’re at my mercy I can do whatever I want to you” and then eat her out

    But Jesus it’s honestly depressing bc this is not the first time guys have come on here claiming giving oral is “submissive” And it’s so stupid.

  16. There’s a difference between who’s in control (Dom vs sub) and who’s giving/receiving pleasure (Top/Bottom). No sex act is inherently dominant or submissive, it’s all about your attitude. You got great suggestions in the comments, just start with what you’re most comfortable with and works best for you and your partner, and experiment step by step.

  17. Being dominant isn’t the same as being selfish in sex – it can be in situations but they are not one and the same.

    Give oral in a dominant way using gestures and words; manhandle her legs and move her around to get in position. remove underwear with your teeth. Look up and meet her eyes and wink without stopping what you’re doing. When she orgasms held on to her legs, drag her back onto position and say ‘oh I’m not done with you just yet’

    Have fun with it.

  18. The one giving oral is in control. Never have I thought of it as being submissive for men.

  20. Oral is submissive? I’ve never seen it that way. As a man I feel like you are in charge of a woman’s pleasure at that moment which to me is very dominant. Really it goes for anyone giving oral to another person, unless it is of course face sitting or face f’ing. That’s dominant on the receiver’s side.

  21. You can eat her pussy and be dominant. Like how women can suck dick in a dominant way. It’s a mental thing and don’t be a pussy and eat her pussy.

  22. One of my favorite positions for oral is to stand, pick up my partner so that she is facing me, turn her upside down and let her thighs rest on my shoulders. This position give me complete control over how hard or gently I eat her. There is just something about diving in face first that really lights my fuse.

  23. My bf will hold me down (consensually) or hold my hands down and basically just take control. He is definitely the dominant one in the situation, he has me helpless.

  25. Dude its pretty easy. Dominating someone is inherently a question of power imbalance. How do you create a power imbalance by eating pussy? By teasing and denying orgasm.

    This means that you need to take your time and slowly excruciatingly bring her to the edge of orgasm. And don’t be afraid to use toys, don’t feel bound by the idea of just oral, she wants to be pleasured. You can also introduce restraints, edging by bringing her close to orgasm and then doing something to bring her back down this could be slapping or spanking if you like bdsm or just moving concentration away from her pussy toward her breasts and nipples or nibbling her ear lobe. But the whole point is that you’re in control of the experience.

    It’s helpful if you take pleasure in eating her out or bringing her to orgasm. But when your girl is writhing on the bed, begging you to lick her or desperately trying to grind her pussy into your face that’s how you know you have her dominated. It’s up to you how she needs to behave or act in order to get her release, if you’re going to give her one at all.

  26. You’re completely in control of when she gets to orgasm. Tie her up (if she’s on board with that) and tease/edge her for ages.

  29. Assuming you talk about this prior and she enthusiastically agrees; tie her down, put some pillows to prop up her pelvis so her *mons pubis*^(1) is a little mountain peak. You can give her some panty tugs (for pussy wedgies) as you warm up the engagement of her equipment. In no particular order, worship it, praise it (or degrade it), objectify it, spank it, whisper to it, give her mons pubis kisses and nibbles, and tell her it belongs to you. Tell her you’re hungry and you’re gonna have to satisfy that hunger until you’ve had your fill.

    That should be a pretty good start. Happy domming!

    ^(1) mons pubis – fatty tissue that pads the pelvic bone, above the clitoris and underneath the thickest pubic hair region.

  30. I find that the person *receiving* oral is in the most vulnerable – therefore usually submissive – position, most of the time. Just the whole situation; another person putting lips, teeth, and tongue in the most sensitive parts of someone else, with the power to give pleasure or pain, and the giver choosing pleasure, is not to be underestimated. Then seeing the receiver at the end of a good experience, in quite likely an even more vulnerable exhaustion, only reinforces that the giver most certainly has not lost any power in the process.

  32. I do this and it’s very dominant. The key here is framing this as something you want to do to her and she is something like a reluctant victim of your evil desire to make her orgasm. You need a safe word for this kind of sexual act which you have both practiced and you both need to agree that this kind of play is okay because it starts to border on CNC. Specifically, enthusiastic consent, safety protocols, and ready to stop at any time as needed.

    ​

    Part of making this a positive experience for you partner is conveying to them on an emotional level that you want to do this for them and that it isn’t a chore. As a dominant you can become a sort of clit-orgasm obsessed overlord driving her experience. If she believes on an emotional level that you enjoy this, the experience will be better for her. I use dirty talk (examples below) which reinforces that role.

    For my partner, I tie her up, I spread her legs, I tease her skin, and I make her beg. When I get enough begging I begin to deliver. For the bondage, I use a basic chest harness and then tie her arms behind her head joining two single-column ties and anchor the rope wrist cuffs to the harness in the center of the back. For her legs, we like the Spiral Futomomo. That leaves her restrained, able to struggle a bit (which she likes), but unable to interfere with my ability to deliver the experience. (You want safety sheers on hand to cut ropes in an emergency.)

    ​

    Once she is in the bondage you can say something like, “I can do whatever I want to you now.”

    ​

    When I am building arousal I start slowly by touching to activate her skin working my way slowly along her body to the clit and paying attention to sensitive areas first. I need to activate her body and get her arousal cycle started. The tying process tends to slow everything down so that is helps the foreplay build.

    ​

    Because her orgasmic triggers are small pains like pinching, biting, or hair-pulling I add these to the mix as she gets close. I also insert two fingers to make a come-hither motion while I am performing.

    ​

    **[EXPLICIT LANGUAGE FOLLOWS]**

    * “I want to get that hot little clit in my mouth.”
    * “You need to tell me three times that you want me to suck your clit. Tell me again. I need to believe you.”
    * “What kind of girl wants to be tied up and have her clit licked?”
    * “Do you want me to stop?”
    * “Don’t you fucking cum yet!”
    * “You need to ask permission to cum.”
    * “You taste so good.”
    * “Who owns this clit?”

    ​

    You can take this in a lot of different directions depending on your dynamic but what my partner is getting out of this is that, because she is in bondage and being dominated, she releases any of society’s cultural baggage and she can be overwhelmed by the experience.

    What I get is the affirmation of her desire and the feeling of mastery from delivering the experience.

    What I have found is that as she starts coming down from her peak during oral sex, I can switch to PiV sex and drive her into the multi-orgasmic wave state and keep her there for a decent amount of time. If you hit that, you’re going to feel like a million bucks.

  33. You could pin her hands above her head while you’re moving down there, you can have her wear a blindfold. You can also do it until it’s clear she’s getting close and then stop and dangle the carrot, so to speak. Be like “If you want me to keep going you’ll have to beg me for it.” There’s lots of ways to be dominant during oral. Good luck! 😉

  35. You think giving head is submissive ? There’s more to being “dominant” than just jackhammering your gf also.

    It’s all about how you go about it.

  36. You can eat her out passionately and take complete control ! That’s not submissive, infact it’s really manly and dominant!

  37. You’ve got it backwards.

    Giving oral is the most dominant thing a person can do. When you go down for someone, you control what they feel, you speed up or slow down, you go intense or tease them with something lighter, you have the power to decide when they orgasm, you can delay their orgasm if you want more build up, or you can suddenly change things up and make them orgasm when they weren’t expecting, you can make them beg you to give them that last push into climax, you can give it to them or tease them more. Their pleasure is completely in your hands.

    When someone opens their legs to you, they’re showing their most vulnerable parts, they’re letting you take them on an adventure that you steer, and they trust that you know what you’re doing. People like to be lead by someone who knows the way, all you have to do is take control of the situation and give them the thing the need to make them feel good. The most important thing about taking control, that some people forget, is that it includes the responsibility to understand what their partner needs and wants, and cater to that, while making it feel (to them) like it was your idea all along.

    The moment you realise that giving oral is a dominant thing, it becomes so much more fun for all involved.

  38. Tie up her hands or blindfold her. Also be in control of her orgasms. Tease and edge her, don’t let her cum right away. Make her beg for it

  39. I’d say you can make oral be more dominate. If she’s riding or sitting on your face, then that’s submissive. If you “force” her to open her legs for you to feast, then you’re the one in charge.

  41. i dont think giving oral is submissive at all, having some exorcist lady making dumb faces weird sounds and throwing up gang signs sounds kind of like the one getting blown is succumbing to me. if I whisper into a vagina and the person attached to it melts, does that make me submissive? or am I dominating what little composure people have when they get great cunni? lol if you have a skewed idea of masculinity idk maybe pick her up on your shoulders and eat her out while you run a 5k on the treadmill?

  43. Step 1) Talk about consent and boudaries first. Then, if she is into it…

    Step 2) Blind fold her. Restrain her hands. Remove her bottoms. Get yourself nice and comfy between her legs. Then firmly grip her thights and procde to explore every milimter of her with your tongue. Control her body with your grip on her legs. Hold her down when she squirms. Reach up and tweak, pinch, pull, and twist her nipples. Use your fingers inside of her. Give your mouth a break with something that vibrates. Either keep her right on the edge for as long as you can – OR – see how many times you can push her over and how fast you can build her back up. Don’t stop until she says the safeword you agreed to in step one.

  44. I do a lot of ass slapping and tittie squeezing to assert my dominance when I’m downstairs. Just because your face is in her snootch doesn’t mean you can’t still manhandle her.

  45. You should dig deep and ask the real question, why is doing something for the woman you love make you feel unmanly?

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