Hi. I’m a girl in my twenties, bisexual, sexually active with my bf.
I have been occasionally involved in sexual play, such as fingering and receiving oral, since teenage years, but had performed oral and had penetrative sex for the first time this year.
I have childhood sexual trauma. The trauma itself is mild in comparison to what many other people had unfortunately suffered, but it had affected me *a lot*. It’s obviously #1 reason why it took me so long to trust someone enough to have penetrative sex with. That being said, I doubt the trauma itself has to do with the smell expectation problem. I think it might be important to mention it though.
Back in February I got into a brief relationship with a girl. Didn’t workout for reasons unrelated to sex. When I went down on her, there was a faint smell. It turned me off almost completely, but it wasn’t exactly repulsive, so I continued to make her cum. She was in shower right before the encounter. I thought that maybe she didn’t shower well enough.
Now this summer I met my boyfriend. He is a bit of a clean freak, like me, and we discussed it early in the relationship that for both of us any smells are off-putting. We both shower before sexy time. However sometimes I do notice a faint smell. It’s not the penis, I think it’s the balls. He’s naturally sweaty, even more so now as excess sweat is a side effect of his medication. So when we have sex, which is usually fast-paced as we like it, naturally he sweats a lot.
I told him about it very gently. He shaved super thoroughly, told me he literally scrubbed his balls, and asked me to check. The smell was gone for a few minutes, but as he began moving, the smell reappeared.
It’s not even a strong or repulsive smell. If I had to describe it, it’s like when you’re in your room and you can smell someone’s microwaving a sausage in the kitchen lol but like you’re a few rooms away, it’s very faint. Even this faint smell puts me off though, and I wish it wouldn’t.
So I realize it’s a me problem. Most of my sexual experience is just me masturbating and fantasizing, and my fantasies didn’t include the smell. I suppose I kind of wasn’t ready for it. It doesn’t help that I myself is a clean freak. I am extremely repulsed and will shower as soon as I can smell myself, and I use bidet shower each time I use the restroom, and if it’s a public space I’ll use water from the sink + baby wipes.
I have searched this sub but only found posts about people with either bad hygiene, or some kind of infection. Also a lot of people saying they are turned on by the natural smells. Is it possible for me to become one of these people?
Thank you, and I’m sorry that it’s long.
(Edited for spelling, not a native speaker, sorry.)
9 comments
Smells are very common during sex, unfortunately. The genitalia isn’t meant to smell great. Pussies have bad smells (especially), dicks have bad smells, etc etc. There’s a product from Manscape (very trusted brand) that helps with Ball Odor. Google it and maybe show it to him, or buy it for him. [https://www.manscaped.com/products/crop-preserver-manscaping](https://www.manscaped.com/products/crop-preserver-manscaping)
As far as I know, that’s the only actual reliable way to get rid of the smell.
Hi. Use this it is a great product. I have first hand experience. I am a clean freak also but I use this just as an extra layer of protection even though I am confident my man parts do not smell. “Anti Monkey Butt”. They make one for females also.
People just have a smell about them. It’s not going to go away and there is no way to completely eliminate it. You stated that you know it’s an unrealistic expectation so just accept reality and enjoy yourself.
No reason to apologize! I’m just saying I don’t really think there I anything to do but basically get over it. Maybe because you seem to be overly concerned about cleanliness, you’ve eliminated smell so much in many places that even the most basic now create an aversion.
You might just have a very acute sense of smell, hence why natural odor that starts just after a shower doesn’t seem to bother most people, where it is noticeable to you.
Have you considered using a diffuser or a room spray to cover the smell?
The association you have is part of your brain’s disgust response. This means on some levem you associate it with danger of a kind. Exposure will help. Allow the smell to be there and just sense it with out reacting to it for a while. Bit by bit this will wear away youre reaction.
I know some people put Vicks Vaporub under their nose when they are about do something they won’t like the smell of.
As for getting used to his smell, my boyfriend smells best first thing in the morning, his hair smells nice, it smells like him and bed. Also I love the smell of his fresh sweat. It makes me very attracted to him.
His man parts smell not so great but I make sure he showers before my face goes near there, I am a bit of a germophobe too. I buy him body wash that I like the smell of and he doesn’t mind because it makes him that little bit more sexy for me.
I used to also be pretty repulsed by sex smells too, but what has been useful for me has been to go down on my partner only after enough touch that I’m extremely down to eat them out/ suck them. That way, i do not care about the smell because my only concern is their pleasure.
Another thing is to concentrate on the action, aka how you move your tongue, what seems to feel good for them so you kind of forget the smell.
I know you’re with a guy now, but for future reference i find that with women once your eating them out, you can taste it being salty but you cant smell it so you could go relatively straight for it (while trying to be smooth with it; last thing you want is for your partner to think youre repulsed by them).
Lastly since you know for a fact that he’s clean because he showered beforehand, you just have to condition yourself to associate this smell with something pleasurable. To a certain extend, smells and sensations are similar in the sense that they’re here to protect us from danger (example: you feel that being cold is unpleasant because your body needs to be warm to survive). Same thing for smell: an extreme smell can be a sign of something rotten or wtv so your brain doesn’t like it, but a subtle smell isnt going to affect you, just like being a little cold won’t kill you. Your brain is wired to find that unpleasant but you can consciously rethink of how you perceive that smell to find it nice. Associate it with your partner having fun!! The more you do it & get used to it, the more youll think of the smell.
Good luck
You should ensure that the anus and bum crack are well washed as well. Scrubs and gentle soaps work well. Also, if you are a clean freak, get regular pedicures and foot scrubs.