I had my first sex at 22 with a man I was casually dating from OkCupid. I had chances to meet men in person but bullying trauma, anxiety depression and social anxiety and insecurity caused me to never give guys a chance who showed interest in me after hs. At 22 we had sex once and I had a mental breakdown. Nobody told me how to navigate dating beside building social skills which I lacked since hs because I had acne and once again bullying I was shy. I waited 4 years before I went on tinder to have sex again with a random man luckily I didn’t end up raped or murdered That time. It’s like after guy one I lost my safety brain at 28, a random guy I met at gas station showed interest in friendship but see I wish I trained myself to be prepared mentally for men and think of them as friends but I always give myself weird expectations and expect romance. Now after our one night stand we didn’t talk pretty much ghosted but my abandonment trigger went off from guy one I thought I healed but the trauma from guy one is still there.
3 comments
Casual sex is a bad idea. Find someone who wants more. Maybe bumble will work better.
Casual sex and mental illness make poor bedfellows. Have you thought about going to therapy and not pursuing sex or romance while you work on yourself?
You have to turn off some fuses in your head to make casual sex. I can not… i want to do it with person who i trust and love. Rather masturbate than have 10 minute fun with some stranger.