I saw that my boyfriend was texting a buddy of his some pretty vulgar things. Something along the lines of “let’s fuck them so hard up the ass they cum out of their mouth”, “i was thinking we could bend him over and …(I forgot the exact verbiage but you get it). I’m not sure what it was in reference to. Could have been gaming, coulda been a joke about Fantasy Football (probably was). But it seemed to lack any context so I was sort of shocked. He obviously never talks like this with me.

29 comments

  1. Man there are a bunch of people with a stick up there ass in here. Guys talk to their friends in crazy ways sometimes. I tell my friend I’m gonna fuck him in the ass all the time, I also call him my fat bitch lover. Thats how we talk to each other, generally we talk like normal humans to other people.

  3. I’m going to say anything I will say to my buddies in front of my SO. I only curb my craziness for my kids and my grandmother.

  4. Everybody jumping on OPs bf for having banter with his mate. The point is the vulgarity. It’s for effect. He doesn’t literally want to fck the opposing team or whatever. It’s just shit talking and not to be taken seriously.

  5. Very vulgar/sexist/misandristic/racist/homophobic/heterophobic/hating on boomers/genx/millennials/genz etc (basically every stupid/rude thing you can imagine) and dramatic af.

    And just to be clear we ain’t those kind of people irl, its just talking bullshit is fun and it’s kinda funny to see how far we manage to take it before one of us pulls out the white flag.

  7. Working on any construction site, it’s pretty much nonstop runoff with diarrhea of the mouth all day long. Oooh, all the nasty shit we say!

  8. My conversations with my bf tend to not get very vulgar but we’re both older and have kind of left these things behind but yeah, dudes will push things to the next level with their bros. Sometimes it’s almost a competition to raise the vulgarity. So, normal sounding behavior to me. Do your best to ignore it and continue to love the male sex despite our shortcomings.

  9. That’s not even vulgar I’m Australian and that’s just how we talk to our mums.

  10. If my parents or my lady friends ever heard how I talk with the bros they would all be soo disgusted with me lmao…

  11. A lot of women in my experience think “locker room” talk occurs between men when they hang out. In my experience, the women I have known use this as an excuse to have their own vulgar conversations about intimate details.

    In my experience, the majority of men crack jokes they wouldnt normally make around women (because we have different senses of humor), but will never reveal intimate details about their SOs or share things like nudes or discuss women or people in their lives in a vulgar way.

    I was once hanging out with two of my best mates who started exchanging nudes, they both have long term girlfriends, one of which I grew up with. I really didnt like this and was somewhat disgusted. For many reasons, I dont hang out with those guys or have much respect for them anymore in that regard.

    Like this idea of locker room talk, only happens between the shittest groups of men that you dont want to be dating. Because they dont have any respect for you.

    Respect is 24/7. You cant be having sweet conversations with your Mrs in the morning and then talk about her fanny flaps in the evening or how some bird in the office has a great ass. If he’s talking about you, or other women then you can make the inference as to what he thinks about you.

  12. I think that it’s just for fun tbh. I’m a woman and my friends and I say some weird shit to eachother just for a laugh. Doesn’t mean any of it is real, just say weird shit for shock value and fun.

  13. Man, I miss having friends.

    Edit: to kind of but not really answer OP’s question: sometimes it’s strangely comforting having a conversation where you can intentionally say things that are not ok with a mutual understanding that everyone is in on the joke.

  15. Don’t worry, I’m racist to my own race when it comes to hanging around with my beaner friends, we shit talk about how us Mexicans get mad over everything but then we got out Puerto Rican homie on the side, enjoying our racists remarks

  16. I think it’s a form of release to say the most vulgar things imaginable, it’s like a game of the imagination between friends. Exploring each others minds and if you don’t play you don’t win!

  17. He’s shit talking. And without context we can only presume it to be that, and nothing more. Sometimes you get deep into some dumb back and forth with your mates. You’ve known them for years. It happens I think it’s normal bullshit between friends honestly. Honestly you gotta have these outlets sometimes. Life’s tough.

  18. It’s just buddy talk. I used to talk like that when I had physical friends in uni but talk normally to everyone else.

    But as with most things in life, some people do it, some don’t

  19. Us guys are pretty fucked up tbh. Nothing to be concerned about. Just a couple of guys joking about.

  20. The stuff I say to my best friend has made many think us gay, and makes his girlfriend jealous so we usually only talk shit when alone.

  21. It’s always an edgy mutant pantomime of vulgarity that in reality is harmless, but if heard by an outsider would be just the worst….. a story if I may.

    Every few years my buddies and I will go on a ski trip, real mix of skills – I’m dog shit at snowboarding as I just picked it up in my early 30s.

    Have this one mate that is really quite good on the skis and like did ski patrol/rescue for a bit, so he is quite serious and was well equipped so handed out little handheld uhf radios to us all.

    We’d all been shit talking for the morning over the radios, so they were always on and quite audible.

    “… bite the pillow i’m going in dry” for a run we hadn’t done before and clearly weren’t prepared for it…

    “… I’d drag my balls through 8 miles of glass just to hear her fart through this walky talkie” hot girl …

    so I waited until my serious buddy was on the 8 person ski lift in the middle of a bunch of randoms (few girlls, a couple, maybe an older group of guys and a family) and just started shouting “ALLUAH ACKBAR” increasingly louder …. Because god js great right ? There is something about that coming over the crackly uhf handheld that panics people.

    He got off the lift and hit me in the nuts with his ski pole.

  24. I can’t be sure without more context, but he’s likely adapting his speech to his audience, which is a normal thing to do. You referred to it as vulgar (and to most it is), which tells me that you don’t speak that way, your SO has picked up on that, and has some respect for your sensibilities. We all have different behavior metrics for different social situations, and since he has an outlet that lets him have those conversations, he doesn’t need you to hear it and accept it. Most likely he’s joking around with friends, and you *are* missing some context, so don’t jump to any conclusions.

    I would have different limits to what I would say depending on the crowd I’m in. Talking with a stranger in a coffee shop will sound different to talking with a stranger in a sex shop. I honestly think that’s all there is to it. I wouldn’t worry much about it. You can always ask him about it too, though if you do, be careful not to demonize something relatively innocent like trash talk between friends. If it makes you too uncomfortable, then maybe he isn’t the right person for you.

    ​

    Edit: Thank you for the helpful award, very much appreciated!

  27. Oh boy.

    Think of it like this.

    Considering that he doesnt talk like this in front of you, or TO you, like this, and only to his friends, you should embrace as a huge positive. He has boundaries and knows its just banter.

    Sounds like he’s trying to fistfuck someone in a videogame and talkin with his boys.

    My wife was hilariously mortified when she overheard me say to my buddy “im gonna pop that motherfuckers eye out and skullfuck him to raise his IQ” once.

  28. You’d be surprised by how evil, vulgar, explicit and picturesque banter can get between close friends. It’s not intended to be serious it’s just playful banter.

  29. If my friend and I are talking like that, it’s always about doing those things to each other, and we’re 99% joking.

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