I (27M) have been with my ex for 5 years now (30F). We’ve been through such extreme tests in this relationship. We love each other so much still until this day. We broke up mutually exactly 3 weeks ago yesterday.
We began dating when I was 22/23 and I grew from the emotionally immature boy I was to the empathetic, understanding, emotionally intelligent and motivated person I am today. I grew off of her who was significantly more mature than me.
To spare the details, it was an extremely loving relationship, where we were genuine and enjoyed eachother to the absolute core. We held on to eachother so hard because of our fear to lose one another, but the reality is we stopped growing as individuals, we got too comfortable and we stopped being the best versions of ourselves. We got off on the page that we would take this time to grow, heal, become the best versions of ourselves and in a few months time, or years time we can evaluate whether the relationship is worth saving. She left off on the words, “every great romance story has an interlude, it’s not goodbye, it’s see you later” as she left the car balling.
Fast forward to this week I bumped into her and i had a total fight or flight reaction. I ended up messaging her 2 days ago to talk because I realized I couldn’t handle losing my best friend, she requested I stop contacting her after I say what I had to. She called me by my pet name and told me how proud she is of who i am and who I’m becoming and that she’s always rooting for me from the sidelines and appreciated my heartfelt message and agreed she cherishes the bond and memories we have and was happy to have shared that kind of love with me and expressed that seeing me was of course difficult and will continue to be difficult but was happy that she saw me being productive and doing well, she also expressed that seeing me will eventually become easier but that it’s still very fresh, I really was her best friend and it broke her heart that we stopped being our best selves towards each other anymore. She said she would love nothing more than to be friends at some point and catch up on all our amazing improvements but for now needs more time away from me to heal.
After other related conversation, she went on to say, “I know dear, it’s not easy on my end either but we can get through this, it’s making us better people♥️one day we’ll have a big conversation, pinky promise, it’s not goodbye it’s see you later.”
To wrap things up it was a healthy conversation, but I’m having difficulty coping with the loss. I intend to leave her alone because I love her so deeply and I will respect her wishes.
Does this leave possibility for us to be best friends again in the future? Our friendship was insanely strong. What of reconciliation?
How do I go about this?
1 comment
I feel you on this. My situation was a year and a half but feeling an extreme bond with another person and losing them no matter the length is very hard to come to terms with. What i would suggest is that give her and yourself the time to grow. It’s really annoying and cliche and I hate when people say that to me but it’s true. Try doing things for yourself. Take yourself out on “dates” or do an activity that you wanted to do while you guys were together but never did. Keep yourself busy. dwelling isn’t going to help. Allow yourself to be sad because you’re mourning the loss of a relationship. i think you guys will be friends in the future. It didn’t end on bad terms so maybe you guys will be together. in the words of my ex, I urge you,
do not wait for her! live your life. I hope this helps and I wish you the best