I am close to finished school as a paramedic and my boyfriend is really struggling with it. He’s worried night shift is going to ruin our relationship. He says it’s not what he wanted his life to be like and he’s not sure if we’ll survive it. He’s also always worrying about the stuff I’ll see. I just don’t know if this is normal or if I should be worried.
I know I want to be with him, and I told him if he wanted to go out west to work I’d never leave him, but he said if I did that he wouldn’t stay, it would be too much. I just don’t know how to feel. we’re both 23 and have been together over 3 years…
3 comments
I am on the night shift and able to maintain my relationship just fine.
However, I think the bigger concern is the comment he made about if you went west to work. While he is not wrong in feeling how he does, neither are you for feeling you would stick by him, there seems to be an incompatibility issue.
Most of us need to be about more in life than what one person wants of us. I’ve done Eves, Mids and days.Found plenty of time to build friendships and primary relationships. If he’ll work with you for a while, the two of you’ll find a rhythm that works and gives each of you time together and time to pursue independent hobbies. Don’t abandon your dreams.
No ones life, at that age, will be as they saw it for themselves. Few people just have rainbows and unicorns right out of the chute as they head into adulthood. Life doesnt work that way.
has he always been a Pollyanna thinker? Life, with work and a relationship take effort, lot of people work differing shifts where they may work on weekends one week and have the middle of the week off and vice versa the next week. And they make it work.
He needs to stop with his “me” attitude or mindset, if you will. If he doesnt think you will “survuve” because of your work shifts this is all about him and what he wants and how he wants it.
You have as much right to decide your life as he does his. If he cant meet you in the middle thats HIS problem.