So I (25 M) have known a coworker (29 F) for about two months. I’m really shy and don’t necessarily talk to her at work (she knows this) but I text her often (she says I can “message her anytime”). She seems really sweet and gave me her number pretty quick. I just get really anxious around her.
I invited her to hang out for my birthday (Tuesday) but she said she couldn’t. She then said we should go to dinner on another night to celebrate it. I really like her. I feel like this is a great opportunity to make a friend (w/potential for more) but I feel so ashamed I can’t talk to her when I see her the most. I just don’t wanna come off as too clingy and scare her off. I really struggle with talking to girls, and the fact that she gave me her number fairly quick is a good sign I feel.
Anyway, I don’t have any expectations really for the evening, besides just to have a good time and see where it leads. I’ll have to get a handle on my anxiety, but I suppose exposure is helpful in this regard. It’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t go well, but of course I want it to.
This isn’t something I’m used to, so I’ll take any advice I can get.
TL;DR – Girl I like invited me to get dinner for my birthday and I need advice on how to make the most of it. I plan on texting her after work and confirming.
2 comments
Tell her up front that you’re shy and somewhat awkward but very much want to go to dinner with her. When there, ask about her and do follow up questions. Focus on her and her interests. That takes some of the perceived focus off you. Don’t drink a lot.
Just treat this possible dinner out as getting dinner with a new friend, which is what this is! Ask her the basic questions that’s you’d ask anyone you’re getting to know, where are you from? Are you close with your family? What do you enjoy doing in your free time? And then listen. Also, if you’d like to pay, you can let her know upfront that it’s your treat.