So the other night my man went out. I don’t care that he went out I’m so glad he did, he’s very hermit crab like and doesn’t make friends easy. Anyways, he went out with a bunch of his friends (I should include we’re long distance) and I asked him where they were going and he said they were still deciding and that was the last thing he told me. That was Wednesday, he didn’t get back to his place until 2 am his time and he didn’t tell me goodnight or he loved me either. It’s now Sunday and I’m just now finding out it was a gay bar he went too. We were discussing it and he said “have you ever been to a bar? Everyone flirts with everyone”. That sentence broke my heart again, I’ve already been through so much relationship trauma and everyone cheating on me that I don’t know if I can believe him when he said nothing happened. He went out another time the start of our relationship and it was with a woman. He says that she’s a lesbian but he took her to get food and watch “Thor love and thunder” and the only reason I figured out he was with a woman was because he didn’t send pictures like he regularly does.
Another thing, we were in FaceTime the night we went out and he promised to text me and send pictures and I received nothing from him. I don’t know what to do here. I’ve talked to my friends and they say that’s a red flag and he was probably with another person. I asked him how he forgot to tell me where he went and he said he’s just used to not telling anybody where he’s going. But I feel like it should be different with me. Right? I don’t know what to do in this situation. Does anybody have any advice?
4 comments
you are correct in saying it is different for you. you are not a friend or his mum or whatever, you are his partner. i’m sorry that you got cheated on previously but from my understanding doesnt this relationship being long distance make your fears even worse? if he can’t communicate with you then he clearly doesn’t understand how you are because he should be able to adapt and meet halfway to ensure that you are feeling fine.
is this the first time he’s done something like this? how long have you been together and how long has it been long distance?
How did he asked you to marry him if he cant even get used to telling his SO his whereabouts?. Or did he pick and choose which one to share and which he is not confortable to share.
If he finds himself still wondering about what if’s (relationship with other women or men), then he may not be ready for marriage just yet.
“Hi. Will you marry me while I take this woman out who I have never met on a date and forget she is a female because she is a lesbian?”
Why do I keep hearing about people using the homosexual card on their partners as an excuse to be shitty to them? If she really is a lesbian and he didn’t cheat, this is still inappropriate behavior.
I don’t really get the issue? So what if it was a gay bar? Are you worried he’s gay?
I mean, the red flags are literally everything else about your relationship. Long distance. Military. Short term. Very young.
But going to a gay bar? Not sure how that factors in exactly.