Throwaway
I (27 F) haven’t heard from my girlfriend (29 F) in 25 days. I met my girlfriend online and we’d been best friends for over a year and dating for around a month. I’m demisexual and demiromantic so it takes *a lot* for me to become romantically interested in someone. We finally decided to start dating after I realized my platonic attraction for her had grown into romantic attraction. After we decided to start dating, she was very open about the fact that she was in love with me. She’d had romantic feelings for me before mine developed for her. We’d actually discussed ghosting once when it happened to me while we were friends and she mentioned that she’d never do something like that to me.
Tickets went on sale for a band we both listen to that’s coming in the summer and she mentioned how she’d love tickets and to be able to come and visit me. She was waiting to hear back from her boss about days off so I went ahead and bought the tickets (both tickets are still in my possession). We facetimed for 3 hours the day before she stopped responding to me and she spoke about finding a hotel and how she was already looking at plane tickets and what the prices were. The next day she’s at work and talking to me about how she’s waiting for her boss to get out of a meeting so she can ask her about the days off and that’s the last I’ve heard from her. It’s been 25 days.
At first, I was *very* concerned. She was at work when she stopped responding so I thought the worst that maybe she got in a car accident on the way home or something of the sort. Or maybe that something happened to a friend or family member. However, I’ve messaged her a few times just asking her to acknowledge if the’s alright and I’ve received no response. Her phone is still ringing and isn’t dead but I’m not getting anything. She also randomly deleted her Tumblr during this time period which doesn’t seem like a big deal but she clearly had time to go online and delete it but not enough time to let me know she’s okay?
Now I’m just confused and don’t know what to do. It seems most likely that she’s ghosting me but I’m not blocked on anything and I also never thought this was something she’d do as we’d previously spoken about it before. Everything was going so well. We were in the middle of a conversation about her coming to visit me in the summer. I don’t understand what I could’ve done wrong. I feel miserable and completely worthless at this point. This is the only time in my life I’ve connected with someone that I saw a romantic future with and she’s just disappeared. I was able to imagine everything with her and now she’s gone and I’m left with no answers. Is she ghosting me? Do I hold out hope or should I just move on with my life? Any advice is welcome. I just feel so empty and this was my first time feeling this way about anyone so I’m absolutely devastated because I don’t understand what went wrong. How do I move on from this? Again, any advice at all would be welcome at this point I’m just so confused.
2 comments
25 days is a ghost indeed. Don’t worry you didn’t do anything wrong. The issue is with her.
You should move on. I wouldn’t hound her for any closure on the issue.
Have you tried contacting a friend or family member to make sure she is okay? Seems odd to ghost, then delete a social media page randomly.
That being said, ghosting is always a hard one to come back from. The uncertainty that is left after can eat at you, if you let it. If you believe she is ghosting you, however, take that as your answer because frankly it’s the only one you need. Your best bet would likely be to block her on everything, remove all photos, and start to move on.
I’m sorry you’re going through this.