For past few months after i moved, I’ve made some new friends. I noticed one of them is quite edgy(?) or some sort. Then last friday when we hangout with some other people, he drop what i can think of as a quite heavy subject. He told me that when he was younger, his father often abused him for reasons i will not mention. After that, he showed me his scar from the abused and also from his suicide attempt. I was lost for words, because it is my first time experiencing this kind of conversation. Is there anything that i can say or should have said to not hurt him?Fyi, i was only in silence and just listen to his story.
Im sorry if im sounding like a jerk here because i was trying hard to properly convey my experience in English.
2 comments
As someone who tends to make friends with “loner/edgy” folks, I find that kind of information is given when they view you as someone of interest. In the best case, he trusts you enough to share something very personal with you. Some people also use it as a test to see how a potential friend reacts, or (if they are in a bad place mentally) to get confirmation of a self destructive mindset.
If you want to continue the conversation, wait until you have a moment to speak privately (or maybe text him) and explain that you’ve been thinking about what he told you. Reinforce that you care about his well-being, and are willing to listen if he needs someone to talk with.
Be patient and understand that he may still be trying to figure out his emotions about what happened to him. People don’t always need (or want) advice, they just want someone to listen as they talk through their thoughts. Best wishes to both of you
you should say sorry to him and ask him how he feels to share this to you