How do you feel about the way you were raised?

15 comments

1. 80% positive. I would have liked more attention and less parentification. But compared to my peers, I had an idyllic childhood.

2. My only gripe is the lack of mental support me and my siblings had when we were younger. My mother didn’t see the need to get any of us tested, even though my sister was sure she had ADHD back then (she’s been officially diagnosed at 27), and she had a very hands off approach when it came to my depression and panic attacks. She’d leave me alone to “be dramatic” and not reach out until I had “gotten it out of my system”.

3. Amazing, I am very grateful, and am following my parents’ footsteps in terms of relationship, marriage and parenting

4. More positive than negative, and definitely more positive than if I had been raised by my parents.

   In regard to what I would’ve done differently with my grandma in mind specifically is to keep my personal experiences and things I confided in her confidential. After awhile I just stopped trusting her with certain things and that created quite a bit of strain on our relationship as I got older.

5. I feel pretty good about that. I’m happy how my parents raised me.

   The only things I wish were different, would be the following: More attention to teaching me healthy eating habits (my Grandma who lived with us as well made some bad choices at that point) and more support when I was suffering from mobbing.

   But everything else was wonderful.

6. I loved the freedom we had to explore our environment as kids and the fact that we were allowed to engage with touch material (films, books, etc.). However I would have appreciated a little more parenting. We were definitely lacking in emotional support and parents who were engaged and responsive to us. We were raised by perpetual teenagers. I’m learning to be okay with all the complications that come with that.

7. My parents have given me food, shelter, clothing and anything I need; but they are emotionally cold towards me, they don’t hug me or say they love me, it feels like I’m a huge burden to them and they can’t wait till I’m gone.

8. [removed]

9. I wish my mom didn’t push her dreams onto me. She started pressuring me into going in university without asking me what I really wanted. I ended up going but I dropped out because of mental health issues. I never got a degree and I truly feel I have disappointed her.

10. My childhood was far more negative than positive. My little brother and I were hopped from post to post, toxic relative to toxic relative, since my parents divorced when we were toddlers and they weren’t very well off as adults to care for us.

    It seemed fun initially, new places to see, new schools to start over in, but I was always internally depressed at the lack of stability (we moved literally every year or so) and grew up fast from having to take care of my brother and myself. We didn’t have love or emotional support to overcome our traumas, just each other, shelter and if we were lucky, the occasional field trip.

    I’m glad for how far I’ve come emotionally as a person, and never turning into the negative people I was raised by. I appreciate every aspect of my life now. If I ever have my own kids, I look forward to being truly active in their lives, making sure they have planted roots, and having them know they have constant love and support to turn to.

11. I know that my parents did the absolute best they could given the standards of the time and their resources.
    That doesn’t mean that they were fit to raise children.

    There is a lot I would change, mostly in terms of individualizing their methods instead of raising every kid the same way. They were so concerned about doing it right and ‘by the book’ that I don’t think anything intuitive was happening at all and I think we could have benefited from that.

    I *know* I sent out a lot of cues about problems I was having and no one ever even looked up from the newspaper to notice.

12. While I had a childhood that has landed me in 6 years of therapy (and counting), it made me see what I absolutely didn’t want for my life and I’ve become a more successful adult than I even dreamed of.

13. More negatives than Positive, It was all good until my sister was born ( Basically she was the 4th Grand daughter to my conservational grand parents (Dad’s side obviously) and her birth created quite some problems for my mother). Naturally my mother went to an extremely protective zone for her and eventually everybody forgot my existence lol. I grew up anxious, scared to ask for my needs and felt left out. Best part is as a family we have moved on and she is the favourite child and I’m still the ignored one.
    This costed me a major portion of my school and college life. But now I’m unlearning and relearning so yeah I would have put all my efforts in giving the same love and attention to both my kids, understand their fears in the early stages and support them

14. I was raised well. All 4 of the siblings turned out to be good humans. My parents did a lot with us (blended family) camping and road trips and just A LOT of great memories. If you asked me at 14 I’d probably said everything was awful. Talk about perspective

15. I don’t think I was raised badly, but there is a lot I would do differently. I think my parents had a more hands off approach, which was good in some ways but there’s a lot of things I wish they taught me or discussed with me. I really hope when I have children I can make sure they feel loved and valued and are able to talk about their emotions.