Hey all!
TLDR: GF of 4.5 years. Ongoing issue, doesn’t remember words that are said during fights. Example below
Having a REALLY hard time with this. Today me and my gf got into conversation about having kids. I started off pretty clearly, saying I would not want to have a child right now, even if abortion needed. She says that she would keep the child.
I just dont think I’d be ready to have a kid, life to live, wouldn’t be able to provide as best as I could for the child. Haven’t developed maturely enough. Now that I write this maybe if I felt this way all along I should never take the risk of sex.
Regardless she spites back and says that she doesn’t exactly know what she would do and this had me a little worried. I thought we were on the same page so I asked for a more clear answer and she said the words “I’d keep the kid”.
So after that I want to just, think about us and our relationship and what our future entails now because I surely don’t want to risk having a child especially if the chance of it happening could happen.
Later on she reconnects and says she would want to get an abortion because of what we talked about. Just felt really off to me that she changed her mind like that in a way.
But also I was reconnecting about what she had said maybe 2-3 hours ago and she states that “she doesn’t remember this”
How do I even begin to deal with a relationship where it feels like my partner wants to say she doesn’t remember things she says (like this) or rude things, etc. She says this ALOT. I’m just not sure how to navigate a conversation where she can say something then pull this card and then claim she has never had an easy time remembering things she says heat in the moment and almost breaks down every time. makes me feel like the bad guy. Thoughts?