We have mostly just been going on dates for food or movies which has been a really great change of pace for me. I have been trying to go from casual hookups to actually looking for someone I want a real relationship from.
I was opening up about some sexual history since I did feel like it was necessary for someone getting to know me to know just so I can feel comfortable. And in doing so, he felt he should open up about cheating on a girlfriend once a few years ago.
I honestly didn’t expect that and I don’t know how to feel about it. I like that he told me and he does seem remorseful and talked about how he regrets how she must have felt afterwards. But what do you guys think? Once a cheater always a cheater or do people change?
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if he knows he did wrong and owns up to it, then give him a chance i guess. but ultimately its your choice if its a dealbreaker for you
I dont want to defend cheating but if it was a few years ago he was super young – sounds like he is truely regretting it now and he is more mature now. He was honest about it to you and i would apprechiate this more than being worried that this could happen again. But thats just my opinion on that and i understand your feelings about that.
Sorry, but I couldnt trust him as much
Thats just me though
He’s being honest. That’s better than lying.
That’s a touchy subject or dark moment for me too. I 33 M cheated on first girlfriend I made out with and she was always talking about other guys and it was just really going nowhere bones the less I cheated. Biggest mistake ever made. Very loyal person today. Haven’t cheated since.
Of course people change.
And cheating is no exception to that. Plenty of people cheat due to a specific circumstance or due to just being young and foolish and they realize how shitty they feel after and decide they never want to feel like that again.
Human beings entire lifetimes are about continually growing and changing. “Once a cheater always a cheater” is just a stupid saying. No one should be judged for all eternity on one thing they did, especially if that thing happened when they were in their teens. You are young, he’s young, you’re both still developing as people—judge him for who he is now.
And before one of the geniuses here comments “looks like we found the cheater” no, I’ve never cheated on anyone but I have been cheated on, so fuck off.
Automatic dealbreaker for me. I’ve been cheated on before so I’m probably biased but that is something I will never compromise on again.
It’s a very deep flaw at the heart of who they are and takes *serious* therapy to fix. It’s a choice, not a mistake. They chose to commit a series of actions knowing it would destroy their partner.
No thanks.
People don’t usually change. That’s a red flag.
eh, untrustworthy for me. I’d rather be with someone who’s never cheated, since its not exactly hard not to.
I think it says something that he willingly volunteered it. If he seemed genuine talking about it and was remorseful, I’d probably see him again. People make mistakes and the important thing is the person realizes it was wrong and has remorse.
My ex gf cheated on me but I basically let it go. It definitely damaged my relationship with her and we stayed together too long. That being said, if a women I was seeing was opening up about her past, and I was too, and she told me it happened years ago and she feels terrible about it, I wouldn’t automatically end it. All depends on the person, situation, how it felt when they said it, etc