Unmatched for being safe….

13 comments

1. What app? I feel like each of the apps are ranked in tiers, with Tinder being the public bus of online dating. The majority of men on there want something casual.

   I hate to say this, but you very well may be batting out of your league, and since the guys are just wanting to hook up, the minute they see you’re not 100% down, they’re bouncing.

   Maybe be a little less picky on the type of guy you’re swiping on

2. > When’s the last time you were tested for STD’s?

   I don’t think this is appropriate to ask before you’re considering getting sexually involved. It’s understandable to ask, but again, if you haven’t even met the guy IRL yet, it’s rude to ask this. Save it for later. I don’t blame them for unmatching you for asking this before you have even been on one date.

   > Hey I’d actually like to meet in person before going to your place

   If a guy invited you to their place for your first meeting, don’t even bother responding (or trying to counter the suggestion), just unmatch. In this case, they’re indicating to you what it is they’re after. If that doesn’t match what you’re after, trying to change their mind isn’t going to work. At best, it will delay them using you for sex. Instead, don’t waste your time and energy.

3. 29(m) be happy that you avoided these dudes. There are people out there that would like to get to know you and not use you as an object. Sorry this keeps happening to you.

4. I’d unmatch you too if you asked when was the last time I had an STD test before we even met, that’s a conversation to have once you’ve met and decided you both might want to get intimate

5. damn you just did a right swipe now i gotta tell you my private health information – okay there mark zucc

6. They are weeding themselves out and doing the hard work for you

7. You have EVERY right to ask those questions. Protect yourself because most men don’t care and won’t be upfront with you. Allow them to weed themselves out until you find a good one! Good for you for advocating for your safety.

8. Welcome to the guys world. Most of the time I get ghosted I dont even know why.

9. Srs I give the ‘I was raised in the UK in the 2000s so didn’t get the hpv vaccine until my twenties… this means you could still get it from me even though zero symptoms and it’s extremely unlikely i have it’ talk before the first time with any new sexual partner ever and it has freaked out more than one potential partner

   Killed the mood I’m sure but way better than the alternative

10. Yep, any dude that asks me to go to his for first meet up I unmatch straight away. Or if we are organising a meet up and then they turn it sexual I unmatch. Men I feel are getting more confident by being upfront and filthy because some women allow the behaviour.. so get off dating apps. Most men on tinder only want fwb or casual hook ups. It’s not the best time for dating these days. I’m over it.

11. Your filter is working.

    Be glad for it.

12. I honestly don’t understand this. I ask every single guy I consider meeting if he’s had an std test and no one has ever unmatched. They are usually psyched because we’re talking about having sex. I’ve also never had anyone unmatch for wanting to meet in person or asking a question. Then again, I rarely have “great” conversations over Tinder so we are apparently chatting with completely different subsets.

13. I feel what you are asking for is completely reasonable, unfortunately on my end I have a similar problem of people not even wanting to engage with me at all and I am not sure what I am doing wrong